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cookj19 · Feb 21, 2011, 01:44 PM

I am 18, and I am a both stressed & depressed. It all arises from small stupid mistakes, that lead to major regrets for me. For example, last weekend I had my cousins wedding that I have been looking forward too for months. Their was a girl there that I really like and on Friday night everything pretty much went perfect she was totally into me but then on the wedding night, it is as if I destroyed something that was handed to me on a golden platter. I feel that it was greatly my fault because I did not make a move... I dident know if I could but ever since that night, that has been literally the only thing on my mind.This probably sounds really stupid but I can't get it off my mind... its driving me insane. This can't be normal?

genericreader · Feb 21, 2011, 02:02 PM

It is normal to feel regret, but you need to develop a sense of perspective. If you didn't act the way you wanted this time, learn from this mistake and find another opportunity to get what you want. For instance, can you talk to the girl you like? Can you ask her to go out on a date with you?

There is no point feeling regret and doing nothing about it; it will just eat at you. If you can't get direct access to this girl, try asking your cousin or someone who you know has contact with her to put you in touch with her. Don't let obstacles stand in your way, and don't get down because ONE situation didn't go the way you want.

You mention feeling depressed and stressed from "small mistakes" too -- you might want to consider working on your self-esteem and on problem-solving. There are many books available to help you on that matter (try typing in "self esteem" on Amazon.com, or in your library catalogue). It is not failure to try to improve yourself; but it is if you sit and do nothing but feel regret.

In every situation where you feel bad, think about how you could change it IN THE PRESENT, then follow through.

cookj19 · Feb 21, 2011, 02:23 PM

I can talk to her but I don't want to seem desperate, today is her birthday. But there are literally so many pieces to this puzzle.. For instance, (probably sounds crazy) she has a boyfriend, but doesn't really want to break up with him because she feels he will fall apart. I think had I made "a move" she would then know what to do but since I dident its eating me away, leaving me will this stress or depression I don't know what it is but I can't focus on anything else with out this popping up... Everywhere I look, see, here reminds me of her. I feel so stupid because I think I am out of chances.