[BethHavens]

I have an 82yr old father who is a resident of NJ that was put in a PA Hospital by my step mother who claims that 5 days ago "lost his mind". He has alhiemers and the family believes that she took him to PA to look at an assisted living facility when he freaked out because he didn't want to go. She has him scheduled to be removed from the PA Hospital and put in an assisted living facility in Allentown, PA, which is 2 hours away from all his biological children. He has a house in which the deed is in his name alone because she had a bankruptcy in 2001 in which is financially bailed her out of. According to my father, before the alhiemers, he stated that she had no rights to the house because he "bought her out" of her share when he paid her bankruptcy. He has a Will that states that she has "lifetime use" of the house but cannot sell it. After his death, it is to be sold and split to those listed in the Will. A few days ago, his wife contacted a real estate agent and is trying to sell the home. In addition, my father gave me permission 2 yrs ago to view his bank account on line so that I could make sure no one was taking advantage of him because of his mental state. After viewing the account, I found that his wife has been using his retirement and SS monies to pay her credit card bills and her daughters mortgage. In addition, we cannot prove that she has a power of attorney. We don't have a lot of money so want to try to petition the NJ courts ourselves to #1 stop her from placing him in the PA assisted living facilty, #2 to stop the sell of his house & #3 to stop her from spending his retirment monies every month. Can someone please help me?? Time is of the essence and he is to be transfer to the assisted living home some time in the next few days.

[cdad]

It sounds like there is a lot of guessing going on. If the house is on the market you can contact the listing agent and find out what is happening. Also it makes no sense with some of what you had written. You don't grant someone lifetime use and then sell the home upon ones death. Maybe you mistyped that part.

When was the last time that your aware of that he was evaluated? The condition you speak of can become worse in a short period so without direct knowlage its hard to say.

You will need to be prepared for court with options and contingencies for getting things done. You can't go to court and say I don't want and not have something to take its place. You need to line things up before going.

[ScottGem]

She can't sell the house without power of attorney. However, if the bank accounts are joint, she can do whatever she wants with them.

I'm going to guess here that he has a bank account with online bill payment. And that he gave you the password so you can see the transactions. That she also has the password so she is authorizing payments.

The problem here is, as his wife, absent any documentation to the contrary, she is his next of kin.

The first thing you need to do is get yourself appointed conservator. That may not be easy. Who drew up his will? I would contact that attorney since he knows more about what your father's wishes were.

[BethHavens]

You are right, I did mistype. She has lifetime use of the house and upon her death it is to be sold and split. He is in a hospital right now so is being evaluated pretty much every day. However, at this point he has NOT be deemed incompetent. The deed being in him name alone is what makes me think she cannot sell his house. She has not proven that a power of attorney exist either. So with those things being said... can she do anything?

[BethHavens]

You mean have him deemed incompetent? And petition the courts to be the trustee of his estate? Can I do that considering she is his wife? She has not proven that there is a power of attorney and I can almost guarantee he did not sign the papers for the house to go on the market... only she did. His mental state is pretty much gone. Do I really have any legs to stand on?

[ScottGem]

First, if you have a follow-up question or info, please use the Answer options rather than the Comments.

If he is not competent then you have an uphill battle. Upi may have to have a 3rd party declared conservator to mediate.