[Rosscono7]

My girlfriend and I have been going out for a year now and she has just told me that she has never had an orgasm. Not only from me but all previous partners. She says I am the best she has ever had and really really enjoys sex with me. She says I have helped her develop herself sexually as I am more experienced than her. I am 30 and she is 21. She says its not a big deal as really likes to please me but I really want to please her in a way she hasn't before. Can anybody help or got any advice on how I can help her achieve an orgasm?

[jenniepepsi]

Have you asked her this? She would know best.

Has she ever been sexually abused or assaulted?

[Rosscono7]

Yeah I have asked her about this and we are trying different things to see if anything works but would just like a bit of outside help too. No she has not been abused or assaulted in any way.

[jenniepepsi]

I would try incorperating some toys. vibrators, and such. Maybe even some board games. Sex stores carry many board games that can bring out a lot of sensual stimulation. And it can help you both get down to your fantacys.

Good luck hon.

[Cat1864]

Does she have orgasms when she masturbates?
Can she show you what works for her when she masturbates?
If she doesn't masturbate, she needs to start. It is a way to explore her own body and find out what works and what the big turn offs are.

If she is still discovering her own sexuality. She may be getting to the point now where she is comfortable enough with it to let go. It might help to spend some time (with no expectation of intercourse) taking turns exploring each other's bodies. Finding what feels good, what is too strong of a sensation, what relaxes, what tenses, etc.

Be careful that you aren't putting pressure on her to have an orgasm. Pressure to have an orgasm causes more problems with trying to achieve one.

Do Not make sex about the 'climax'. When that happens, the intimacy and enjoyment suffers. Sure an orgasm feels good, but what it takes to get there feels really great too.

Keep in mind that women are wired differently. Since arousal takes so much longer for us, it starts long before the clothes come off or we get anywhere close to actually having sex. Arousal is also very mentally based. Get her mind involved and the body follows more easily. You will have to work together to find out what turns her on mentally if she doesn't already know.

Stimulation through toys and fingers can help put her over the edge. However, trying to use them when she isn't already stimulated can have a reverse affect.

It really comes down to No Pressure and lots of communication about what feels good and what doesn't. It's a two-way street so don't forget to tell her what you find enjoyable. It could be what helps her relax and feel more confident in her own sexuality.