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    eraskrew's Avatar
    eraskrew Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 17, 2011, 10:02 PM
    I think my boyfriend is cheating on me.
    We have been going out for a year now, and are in "love"; at least I am. Recently, his friends have been texting him telling him to ditch me and go for other girls that he has known forever. At first, he told me it was just them being upset that he wasn't hanging out with them. So I told him to hang out more with them. Now, he is always lying to me about where he is, who he is with and when he is going home. Then his friends started to call me rude names to my face, and he didn't even attempt to defend me. He just said that they were still jealous. I feel like I am just being paranoid, but I feel like something is off. What do I do? I don't want to push him away with accusations, but how can I get him to admit to something?
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #2

    Feb 19, 2011, 08:24 AM
    An old rule of thumb is, you can tell a lot about a person by the company he keeps.

    You can also tell a lot about a person, when they allow you to be treated disrespectfully, and they themselves treat you with disrespect. That you have doubts about him being faithful, falls into the category of its quite possible if his friends encourage him to dump you, and they are such a huge influence in his life, he's probably listening to them. If not fooling around, at least his activities, which seem to involve being deceiptful.

    Love isn't just confinded to two people while out of the way of life's influences. Love is putting your partner's needs first, and him putting your needs first. Care, consideration, support, understanding are the building blocks. If you are left without that, and instead wondering what he's up to, and you can't believe him to even be honest, there isn't much of a relationship there.

    I would advise you to look at the bigger picture of who your boyfriend is. To narrow it down to one factor of whether he is cheating, overlooks all the reasons you've ended up wondering that in the first place.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Feb 19, 2011, 10:17 AM

    I can't see hanging around people who didn't accept my choice of partners, let alone letting them disrespect that partner. You are right, something is off, but its not about cheating, its about loyalty.
    sharper11's Avatar
    sharper11 Posts: 369, Reputation: 102
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    #4

    Feb 24, 2011, 10:49 AM
    1. Does he defend you when the friends say these things?
    2. Is there proof that he is lying?
    3. Do you Trust him?

    If your answers are: 1.No / 2.Yes / 3.No, then by all means, walk away and move on. There are people that actually care about the relationships they are in.

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