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cici2011 · Feb 17, 2011, 05:43 AM

I recently went to court to get a restraining order against my ex after he was threatening me to get girls to beat me up because he didn't want me at his home, this happened on February 6,2011. After this day he had sent me a text message of a reminder about a job interview. I texted him back telling him to please never text me again and he texted back saying he was sorry that he just wanted to let me know about the interview and to know if I was okay. I texted him back telling him that why would he send me a text message after the fact that he was threatening me the previous day. We kept on texting and we even saw each other too like three times during the restraining order. My order is no longer good since this Tuesday that passed. I still find him the same that he won't change, he asked me why I would get a restraining order against him if he means no harm to me, while in the past he has spit on my face,grabbed my neck,punch my face all because I was the one who put my hands on him first because he was verbally abusive with me and by the time I didn't know what to say to him back when he was calling me names and talking to me bad that it made me angry and react to him by hitting him. I have court tomorrow to extend the order but my question is can I extend the order after we both violated the order? I told him I was going to drop the order but then again like I said he is still the same with the mean attitude. I'm really confused I don't know what to do.

tickle · Feb 17, 2011, 05:57 AM

Your situation sounds really wishywashy,cici. You get a restraining order against him, text him, talk to him and he is being really nice telling you about a possible job interview. For violating a restraining order you are in contempt of court, could face fines and/or jail time. Do you really think the court is going to take you seriously again ?

Tick

joypulv · Feb 17, 2011, 06:29 AM

You are also wasting our money.
Yep, taxpayer dollars.
A restraining order is serious business. It goes on the person's record. It lends to suspicion forever. If you don't mean it, don't do it. If you are easily manipulated, then get help, but it can't be that hard to not engage in contact.

AK lawyer · Feb 17, 2011, 07:23 AM

You had a restraining order against him. However because you repeatedly replied to his text messages, the judge isn't going to take your allegations seriously.

The first time he sent you a text you should have not replied, but, instead immediately contacted the police.

Originally Posted by cici2011

my question is can I extend the order after we both violated the order?

It's up to the judge, but I doubt it.

cici2011 · Feb 17, 2011, 09:06 AM

The day he sent me the text message about the interview, was the day I went to court to get the RO, he wasn't aware of that and I didn't want to tell him. I did call the police that day but they told me my order wasn't on file yet, they told me to call back in 3 more hours which I did at 7pm and then that's when my order was active and the lady on the phone told me that they were on their way to his home. That day he texted me he was telling me how my beuty speaks to itself and how he wants the best of me and said "so long beautiful", and when I just read that I can't explain the feeling I caught and I just kept textin him back asking why was he acting that way that day when he was threatening me, and he literally called the girl telling her to come fight me. I don't even know the girl at all. The day he texted me he was also telling me how he wanted to take me out to eat one last time. When we finished textin I later on in the night couldn't go to sleep I kept feeling bad and having thoughts of dropping the order.

cici2011 · Feb 17, 2011, 09:16 AM

Hey thanks for your answer, I replied to to you back. I wrote it above your answer though as my answer to you. I don't know if you can see it though. If you don't please let me know.

tickle · Feb 17, 2011, 10:19 AM

Cici, have you ever heard the old story about the boy who cried wolf. Well, you may regret not having that restraining order one of these days when things backfire, cause this guy sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

He called a girl telling her to 'come fight you'; he threatens you and then calls you beautiful. I wouldn't trust this man as far as I could throw him. Now you are screwed for another restraining order. You will never get one now.

Tick

Fr_Chuck · Feb 17, 2011, 11:01 AM

You are the person we as police offers hated, they would call us on the boyfriend, then fight us when we went to arrest him, or take their rent money to bail him out after he bet them.

You don't "text" and keep "texting" someone you are getting a restraining order for, that into itself shows you are still talking to him and did not really want to "restrain" him

But the things you did, showed that you were not serous on the first order and I doubt a court will give you another one, unless you are actually physcially hurt this time.

So until you stop talking to him, stop email him, stop text him and move on, you are just welcoming him back

So either leave him and leave him alone or you are making your own bed and mess and deserve what ever happens at that point.