[mother4sons]

My ex-husband and I have joint legal custody of our two sons with our divorce decree stating that I am the parent of primary residence. (that they live with me..their mother)
Now that my sons are older they have a desire to live with their father.
I live in New Jersey and he lives in Florida.
My question is this...
What if anything do I need to do legally to allow them to move in with their father full time.
My ex and I agree to this change and since he has never paid me child support (for the past six years), it is also understood that I would not be paying him any child support either.
I do not want to have to go thru the courts if I can help it.
If we drew up an agreement amongst ourselves... stating that we both agree that our sons will now be living with their father... that we will retain joint legal custody as stated in our divorce decree.... that he will not persue child support from me... nor will I ever persue any back child support owed by him etc....
Is it possible to just do that and have it signed by a notary, and allow my children to make the move.
Another question would be....
Would he be able to enroll them in school without issue and apply for health insurance for them thru the state of Florida and/or any other such related things?

Thank you so much for any and all advice~

[ScottGem]

No. You cannot agree to modifying a custody order without court approval. Any agreement you make will not stand up in court.

But, if you feel there will not be an issue between the two of you, you can reach a private agreement.

[mother4sons]

Thank you for your reply.
I did know that it wouldn't be a modification the to the custody order, or stand up in court.
But, yes... my ex and I are able to reach a private agreement... we both feel that it would be best for the boys to live with him at this time.
I guess what I really need to know is when they do move.. will he be able to apply for their health insurance, enroll them in school etc...
Also...
Do you know if a "mutual agreement" between the two of us in regard to the child suppport situation... signed with us and a notary would be something that would stand up in court?
Thanks again.

[ScottGem]

As long as he has joint legal custody he should be able to register them in school etc.

Notarization just verifies who signed the document. It doesn't make it any more or less legal. And, no I don't believe it would stand up.

[AK lawyer]

... And, no I don't believe it would stand up.

To paraphase the immortal words of the only POTUS to be impeached in the 20th Century,
"It depends on the meaning of 'stand up in court' is".

The most likely scenario is this: mother goes to court screaming "he has the kids and won't give them back". To refute a contempt charge, the agreement would probably do the trick.

Another scenario: he goes on welfare and the state seeks child support reimbursement. Might stand up. Might not.

A third scenario: She has second thoughts, acknowledges the agreement but wants to nullify it. I don't know whether a court would necessarily nullify an arms-length agreement like this.

As a practical matter, going back to court to make the change is not a big deal. A stipulation for the judge to sign-off on would do it. Therefore I am not sure that it wouldn't "stand up in court".

[ScottGem]

As a practical matter, going back to court to make the change is not a big deal. A stipulation for the judge to sign-off on would do it. Therefore I am not sure that it wouldn't "stand up in court".

This is really the key. Basically, you draw up the agreement, ask the judge to ratify it. This could probably be done in chambers with the father on the phone. Maybe 15 minutes.

[AK lawyer]

This is really the key. Basically, you draw up the agreement, ask the judge to ratify it. This could probably be done in chambers with the father on the phone. Maybe 15 minutes.

Or, if the agreement is clearly worded, and the judge isn't retarded, it could be ratified without a hearing.