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mindy1719 · Feb 15, 2011, 05:51 PM

Moms boyfriend moves in with 2 17 yr old boys, 1 sleep in her closet on a air matress with my 9 yr old step son and the other is sleeping on the floor in the living room with my 10 yr old step daughter on the couch. The kids had just meet theses boys for the first time 2 weeks ago is there anything that I can do ?

justcurious55 · Feb 15, 2011, 05:57 PM

I'm sorry, but I can't even make sense of your question.

Who are you in all of this? You stat that moms boyfriend moves in with two 17 year old boys and then begin talking about "her" closet and step children and kids just meeting 2 weeks ago.

Who's house is this? And why are children sleeping in closets and in the living room? Is this a temporary situation?

AK lawyer · Feb 15, 2011, 06:10 PM

Originally Posted by mindy1719

moms boyfriend moves in with 2 17 yr old boys, 1 sleep in her closet on a air matress with my 9 yr old step son and the other is sleeping on the floor in the living room with my 10 yr old step daughter on the couch. the kids had just meet theses boys for the first time 2 weeks ago is there anything that i can do ?

Not sure if I understand all the relationships.

You have a mother with questionable morals who is shacking up with her boyfriend.

The boyfriend has two 17 year-old sons (twins, perhaps?).

Where do you fit in relationship-wise? If you share a closet with your 9-year old step-son, that would make you the spouse of the boy's parent. Since your handle is "Mindy", I surmise that you are female. So your husband, the 9 year-old's father, lives with you too? Where does he sleep?

The other 17 year-old boy is sharing a room (living room?) with your step-daughter?

What can you do?

Report the situation to CPS; and/or
move somewhere else.

cdad · Feb 15, 2011, 07:26 PM

Those boys shouldn't be sharing a bed or a room with the other children. What is the whole story going on here?
Who is who ?

mindy1719 · Feb 16, 2011, 07:26 PM

OK sorry I was upset yesterday when I wrote the original question, but I'm the step mom and the children involved live with their mom. And their mother has moved in her boyfriend with his 2 17 yr old twin teenage boys. 1 of the 17 yr old boys is sleeping in moms closet on a air matress and the other 1 is sleeping on the living room floor. Now my step kids have their own beds up stairs but their mother is letting them sleep down stairs, 1 in the closet which is a 9 yr old boy with 1 of the twins and then my 10 yr old step daughter is sleeping on the couch by the other 17 yr old boy. The house isn't very big so they are very close from the floor to the couch. It just isn't right and it is really bothering us. Once again sorry for not making much sense. Hope this clears stuff up.

mindy1719 · Feb 16, 2011, 07:38 PM

I have replied to my question in the answer section ,maybe you could reply to it. I didn't know I could reply this way till after I wrote in the answer section. If you could check it out and tell me what you think. Thanks

cdad · Feb 16, 2011, 07:44 PM

Using answer this question is the proper way to respond unless it's a quick note of thanks.

The children shouldn't be sleeping in such proximity. Period. And if there is not enough beds to go around then you might want to call CPS and notify them of what's going on. Your daughter should not be sleeping anywhere near the 17 year old. If the arrangements were such that she shared a room with her brother that's still OK at those ages so long as privacy is respected. The twins are almost adults at this point.

AK lawyer · Feb 16, 2011, 08:02 PM

Originally Posted by mindy1719

i have replied to my question in the answer section ,maybe u could reply to it. i didnt know i could reply this way till after i wrote in the answer section. if u could check it out and tell me what u think. thanks

Well, now that you have clarified the situation, I understand it a lot better, thanks.

I would suggest, if you were you, that the twins sleep in one room and your step-kids sleep in another. I wouldn't suggest to your husband's ex or her boyfriend that you have cause to believe that the twins have done anything wrong, but that they, as well as the adults in the household, should be concerned about appearances of improriety. If, at some future point, someone (certainly not you, but someone) could make unfounded charges which could very well make things very unpleasant.

mindy1719 · Feb 16, 2011, 08:50 PM

I'm not quite sure I understand the last sentence in your answer. Could you liberate on it for me?

mindy1719 · Feb 16, 2011, 08:51 PM

Thanks new to this and I'm sure it shows! :)

AK lawyer · Feb 16, 2011, 09:41 PM

Originally Posted by AK lawyer

... If, at some future point, someone (certainly not you, but someone) could make unfounded charges which could very well make things very unpleasant.

Originally Posted by mindy1719

i'm not quite sure i understand the last sentence in your answer. could you liberate on it for me?

I am suggesting that the twins are at legal peril. They could be accused of sexually abusing the younger children, even if they are entirely innocent. And I am asking you to be very clear that you certainly don't mean to threaten to make such charges. But you want to bring the risk of such accusations to the attention of your husband's ex wife and of her boyfriend (the twins' father).

In other words, as the saying goes, "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar". So be very careful how you word this. You don't want to be perceived as making a threat. You want to be perceived (even if itsn't true) as being concerned with these boys' welfare. By this tactic I am guessing you are more apt to, as a practical matter, protect your step-children.

mindy1719 · Feb 16, 2011, 09:52 PM

Thanks for your insight, It has been greatly appreciated.