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HeartsConfused · Feb 13, 2011, 01:13 PM

I have been with a guy for 3 years and we have our troubles... We fight a lot about stuff. Money, Bills and me spending time with my friends. I want him to spend time with his friends but he just won't. I am currently full time working and full time school and when the weekend gets here I do like to go out with friends and he fights with me every time I do. HE is currently laid off (he does lawn care) for the winter and he will go and see his friends while I'm at work/school and be home to spend time with me. Sometimes I need a break from school/work/ and HIM! I have tried to explain how I feel and he just thinks I want to be with my friends ALL the time.I think he is too clingy and is truly pushing me away because I just hardly ever want to be around him. What should I do?

talaniman · Feb 13, 2011, 09:56 PM

Compromise. And why doesn't he work another job during the winter? You mean after 3 years together you cannot structure your lives to be happy, and work hard together? Come on what's really up? You struggle with bills and money, but want to party every week end? WHY?

You better sit down an start really talking about resolving your issues.

If you can't figure this out together, figure it out apart. You seem to be heading that way any way.

sharper11 · Feb 15, 2011, 11:49 AM

Did you start school during your relationship or before? Do you live together? There seems to be more than this other than what you are stating.

It's normal to want to see each other. If you are in school and work all day, and hanging out with the girls on the weekends... when do you guys actually see each other.

My wife and I had a similar situation... we made a "date night". Our was Thursday night. No Studying, No Friends.. . just me and her.. doing whatever we wanted. Even though it was just one night.. . It was enough.

Not sure what else to say. Like Talaniman said, after 3 years, you should be able to work with each other.

answerme_tender · Feb 15, 2011, 01:44 PM

I have to agree with the previous couple of post.

After 3 years it doesn't seem that you have that great of communicaton system. I understand that your still young and want to be able to get with friends and get out. But it doesn't sound like you have any set aside time to spend with boyfriend besides coming home after school/work. What happened to those times?

I also noticed that you feel he is too clingy, could that be something that is occurring only during the time he is laid off. Have you set down and discussed that maybe you have concerns with him being okay with the lay offs in the Winter time without being productive.

If you cannot re-establish the communication then it maybe time to re-evaluate your relationship. Is it worth while to stay or do you need to be on your own.

Take care

HeartsConfused · Feb 16, 2011, 05:58 AM

Reply to Taliamanians Response:
Its not that we struggle with the bills but I expect him to pay 50/50 and because he is laid off he thinks its okay if he only has some or half of his part because he knows I will cover it. And I stated it wrong, I don't go out every weekend with my friends, I do go out like 2x's a month with them during a Friday or Saturday night, Its just that when I tell him that I'm going, it always starts an argument. We talked about marriage about a year ago but his excuse for that is that he doesn't have the money for a ring, C'mon! I see my life as trying to be the best I can be, I have a career job, going to school to reach even higher and he still can't tell me what he wants in a career or when he wants to start school? (SN: Im 24 and he is 28)

Response to Sharper11:
We live together, I bought a house two years ago and we moved in. I started school a little over a year we were together. We have date nights, but what girl wants to pay for it just about every night?

General Response:

I love him a lot, I have known him beyond the 3 years that we have been together but I am ready to grow up and start a life and I don't want to have to feel like I am giving it my everything and he is just relaxing on the couch waiting for it to happen.

sharper11 · Feb 16, 2011, 07:10 AM

Sounds like you already know where this is going. I worked as a landscaper for 6 years, he needs a part time job (or set aside money) to make it through winter. You do what is right for you. If you are ready to move on and up, he needs to move on with you or get out of the way. -- Just my opinion.