[talaniman]

NC works like a divorce when children are involved. You plan how you take care of your obligations such as support and visitation, and keep all other conversation about what's the best thing for the kids, and never go through the relationship stuff.

I highly suggest you go to where ever court sets the child support, and see what those obligations are, and make arrangements for YOURSELF to meet them. That in itself can save a whole lot of arguing later. But the main thing is that since you are tied together by kids for a long while, you make yourself busy, and unavailable for the rest of the emotional confusions, and hassles later.

No you just can't walk away from your baby mama cleanly, but you can do this mentally, and emotionally, by keeping any contact about the kids, and not about you, or the relationship.

You couldn't work together as a couple, but for your kids, there is no choice. If you cannot agree then the courts will step in, and settle your disputes. The rest is you setting boundaries of good behavior around her, and have as little to do with her as possible. I think its best to exercise your rights through the courts for visitation, custody, and support, just to save the arguing, and putting the kids in the middle, or having them be pawns to harass each other.

Yes its very difficult, but many have done this before.

[cllockhart]

Thank you for your advice Talaniman. But just to let you know, I am a woman, and it is him that cheated on me. So I think you meant I can't walk away from my baby daddy. Lol!

[DoulaLC]

Can't add to the great advice you have received, but just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this experience.

I hope that when you are ready, you will meet someone who you can fully trust and believe in. Take care of yourself... surround yourself with family and friends.

[vanheart]

Its you first now and your child. He's should be at the bottom of your priorities now.

Its going to be hard, but I agree with Tal.

One step at a time. Separate & get some advice legally.

He used up those "be a family" cards with his behavior. He doesn't deserve anything from you at this point.

Surround yourself with people that care & will help you during this transition. You shouldn't go it alone.

Im sorry that things weren't what they seemed, but this is life & things change, as sucky as it may seem. This one will be for your benefit in the long run.

You will be all right if you stay focused.

Keep us posted.