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sarahliz1986 · Feb 13, 2011, 04:12 PM

Hi everyone, my question is how can I tell if my friend likes me? I'm starting from scratch here and feel out of my depth after 5 years of being single I feel like I'm ready to get back on the horse as they say, my friend and I have slept together over 2 weeks ago it just happened one minute we were having a heart to heart and next thing you know we are having amazing sex! We have spoke about what happened once and it hasn't been brought up since I'm to nervous to ask him if what happened meant more? I am also still in shock about it and haven't been able to think clearly about the way I feel about what happened I don't regret it I just don't know what to think. Our friendship hasn't suffered one iota we still talk but a lot more than we used to (everyday now), basically we are still really close which also was a shock. Please could someone help me out with how I should start a conversation about what happened and if he wants more than just friendship?

joypulv · Feb 13, 2011, 04:30 PM

He may be wondering the same thing?
Is it the other person's job to state their feelings and intentions first?
Plan what to say and say it. Don't ask, state what you feel. You can always start with a home cooked dinner - a really nice one, and say 'It's nice to have company for dinner; I don't cook like this for myself.' If you don't think it's overdoing it, have flowers or candles or both on the table. Rent some movies, watch regular TV, dance to music, play Scrabble. Then you can say what you said here - spontaneous sex was a shock but a nice one. And that you like him just the way he is, or could like him more if he's interested. How hard is that?

talaniman · Feb 13, 2011, 04:57 PM

I don't get it, you're supposed to be FRIENDS, and you talk everyday, but can't ask your friend what he thinks?

Ask if he wants to date casually of course, with no promise of sex. As you are finding out, sex can cloud the mind, especially if you are friends for a time. You could be subtle in your approach, by dropping hints that you would like to date again, and see what comes of it.

I have always thought that some friendships are better than relationships, and blurring the line between them, messes up the friendship, and the lines here have been clearly blurred.

Maybe he feels like the sudden sex was a mistake, and rather have the friendship as it is without the relationship. Normally I say let things happen naturally, but since that has happened already, maybe the best course of action for you is, to get over the shock of doing the wild thing, and give this an awful lot of thought before you act on those sweaty, hot feelings, that have been stirred up in you.