[LYNN_1964]

My 27 yearold son who is stationed in Germany,believes an untruth that my daughter told him about me. He has not spoken to me in 2 years. He will not call me, nor email me when I send him messages. He told me a while back that I needed to apoligize to my daughter. I did for what he thinks I said to her was wrong. But he still will not speak or communicate with me. What do you suggest I do?

[joypulv]

I suggest that you wait, as you must, really. Meanwhile have as good a relationship with your daughter as you can, without trying to get her to intercede for you with him (or she will feel used).

One thing that helps is to write a letter (on paper!) that you don't mail. You may find yourself rewriting it often, until it reaches a place that feels right and has no hurt, anger, or recriminations.

[Jake2008]

Do you know what exactly, that your daughter said to her brother, to cause this rift? It must have been something big, for him to sever ties with you.

I think it was a mistake to apologize to your daughter, for something you didn't do, in order to appease your son with the veiled promise of resuming communication with you. You were duped into confessing, but what you really did, was confirm whatever it is that your daughter said to him.

That was enough credibility, given by you, to confirm that his information, was indeed, correct. Otherwise, why would you admit it to be the truth.

Without knowing what your son was told, it is really impossible to offer more direct help to you, in how to fix it. Other than has already been stated that you should keep the communication going, and consider that he is reacting (right or wrong), now, to information he only thought MIGHT be 100% true, and now he knows to be true, because you admitted to it.