[raine53]

Hi there
We have our 2 yr old granddaughter who is in a big girl bed, every night it is a huge deal getting her to bed and then during the night she refuses to stay there all night. She gets up every 1-2hrs and screams for certain persons granma, granpa or mom, but will not stay in her bed. We are doing the supernanny routine but this is going on 3 weeks and still no change. If someone has an idea I would love to hear it, just don't know what to do!

[grammadidi]

The key is to be 100% persistent and not to talk after the first time you take her back to bed. I raised a child who had been terribly abused and neglected. She had terrible night terrors and when we first took her in we had to do the "Supernanny" routine, too.

I think that what made it easier for her was that we always kept the last hour before bed-time engaged in quiet activities. That hour would include a bath (I used a mild lavender bubble bath to help calm her), brushing teeth & hair, potty time plus a 15 minute cuddle/talk time (in bed) and a short soothing story. I then told her that I loved her and would see her in the morning. We used a night light in the bathroom and allowed her to have her door open about a foot as long as she stayed in bed. (We always closed it later.)

If she got up, one of us would lead her back to bed while reminding her she must stay in bed at night. Then we would kiss her and tuck her in again, and as we closed the door we would say "Night sweetie, I love you. See you in the morning." as we quietly closed the door and shut off the nightlight in the bathroom.

When she got up after that we just quietly, calmly and matter of factly led her back to bed (sometimes we'd have to carry her) without a sound and close the door as we left. We were VERY consistent and never varied it by asking her what was wrong, etc.

2 is a common age for a child to start really being aware of their dreams. If she is verbal, it might help to talk to your granddaughter in the earlier part of the day why she has trouble staying in bed. If she is dreaming, you can teach her to think of good things before bedtime and even by TELLING her what she is going to dream about before you leave the room. I often told my daughter stories that I made up during our story time. They were nice stiories... like a little girl who came home and found a puppy waiting for her who was going to be her best friend and love her forever. I would start a little story about something like that, then tell her to dream the rest of the story and tell me all about it in the morning. That worked great!

If she is too young to really do that, then you could give take her out shopping for a very special stuffed animal - her favourite - and tell her that she was so lucky that her new friend was going to be able to sleep with her and help her to stay in bed and go to sleep quickly.

A couple other ideas... Sometimes a young child will have difficulty at bedtime because they are eating too close to bedtime and/or over-tired. Also, you can use aromatherapy to your advantage. If you wear perfume, put a spot of it on the corner of her pillow. You can also put some lavender drops on a hanky or piece of material that she can tuck into her pillow. You could also try one of those battery operated fish tanks with a night light in them.

No matter what, remain loving and calm and non-verbal when she is coming out of her bed... and DON'T give up! :)

Good luck!

Hugs, Didi

[joypulv]

When did she come to live with you, and is her mother there?

[raine53]

Hi there
No her mom lives with us sice her birth! She was sick about 2 weeks ago and now is up all night. She will do and say anything to get out of bed, cry for me,gandad, mommy, auntie, tell us she's hungry... that gets her something to eat but generally she won't eat it! My girls never did this!!

[jenniepepsi]

All I can suggest is try other options. Its just my opinion, I can't say this as fact, but to me, the supernanny, ferber, cry it out types are just not for me. I don't like them and I think they serve no purpose other than to force the child into thinking they are all alone at night. I personally believe that is why children react so badly to it the first few weeks, because they are terrified that they are completely alone.

Again this is just my opinion, I hope I don't offend anyone. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with mommy or grandma going into the room with her and giving hugs and kisses and extra snuggles, and reassurance and then putting her back to bed.

[joypulv]

I'm concerned about this starting after she was sick.. bad cold, flu, stomach virus, high fever? Did you give her aspirin or Tylenol or..
There are studies of after affects of some of this in children, but you should ask her doctor.

[DoulaLC]

Was she up pretty frequently when she was ill? It is not uncommon for the pattern to continue for a time after wards if that was the case.

Personally, I'd forgo the supernanny routine as after 3 weeks you have seen no change and it likely is only causing frustration for everyone involved.

In addition to what has already been suggested:

*let her know that she can have a quiet toy, puzzle, or books in bed if she wakes up during the night
*go in and lie down with her for a short time, read a short book, rub her back, keep a sippy cup of water in the room if she asks for a drink
*make sure you have a consistent bedtime routine
*give her a sleep buddy... cuddly toy that is just for bedtime
*leave a light on for her
*use background music or whitenoise
*be sure she has adequate sleep during the daytime

Know that it will pass, she will get back into her usual routine, and try not to get too anxious or frustrated... hard to do sometimes, I know, when you have broken sleep!

[Fr_Chuck]

And don't in the middle of night give her anything to eat, put her back to bed, don't do anything but put her back to bed,
Each time and every time, and be firm