[flow87]

My ex has broken up with me 3 times now. Main reason every time is because he loves his freedom too much and can't take being in a relationship. This always led to arguments as he felt too much pressure and couldn't take it, which would obviously upset as I felt like I was losing him.
He came back every time because he claimed he loved me, missed me and didn't want to lose me, and that what we had was special, despite the fact he can't be in a relationship.


He broke up with me for the first time in May as we were arguing quite a lot, he felt a lot of pressure from me and couldn't take it any more. However we kept in contact and in August he said he wanted to try again. We did but it only lasted 2 weeks. I was left completely heartbroken, once again. I was devastated as I thought we could sort out these arguments, but it was too much for him, he told me to leave him alone so I did. I went NC for 3 months (secretly hoping hed want me back), in these 3 months he tried to contact me twice, just to say hello, how are you? etc.


In November we bumped into each other, and he broke down, cried to me, told me he still loved me, missed me, but said he couldn't be in a relationship. I was in so much shock as I thought he didn't love me any more and I had tried so much for 3 months to put him out of my mind, even though I still loved him. I asked him how can he still love me but not want to be with me, and he just kept saying he didn't want a relationship.

Since then we had been talking nearly every day... sometimes we'd talk about where we went wrong and whether we could try to make it work again, but he always said he didn't want a relationship and didn't want to hurt me again and risk it going back to the way it was.


However, the first week of January he told me he wanted to take that risk and try again, we discussed our mistakes, and I told him I was going to try to not make him feel so much under pressure, etc... I was so heart broken last time but I still wanted him back, and seeing as we both loved each other still we decided to try again. But after spending one day together, he decided he couldn't do it as he still doesn't want a relationship, so ended it once again! And breaking my heart once again!

So I've now been 2 weeks NC... I think about him CONSTANTLY... I can't take him off my mind. Secretly I'm hoping NC will make him miss me... but I don't see him coming back, because when he ended it the last time I asked him 'how can I walk away if you always come back?' and he said 'i won't be coming back next time'.

I realize he has commitment issues and just loves his freedom. But we love each other so much, and we always said we had never been happier (when we weren't arguing of course!). He even wrote me a song and sang it to me the one day we tried to make it work in January. We got on fine, its just that he feels pressure from a relationship... I miss him so much and wish he would come back again... :(

Any thoughts? Opinions?

Thanks a lot and sorry for such a long post!

[answerme_tender]

Flow--okay no offense, but sounds like he breaks down every couple of months and says all the right things to get a booty call situation. For someone who wants his independence so much apparently he isn't able to find some else to give him a little affection he apparently needs every so often!!

Why in the world would allow someone to continuously hurt you is beyond me. What he is doing is just simply cruel. He builds your hopes and crushes them within a VERY short amount of time after getting back together!!

If this isn't about a booty call, then he is one of those people that only get off with the chase and once caught, feels NOTHING, until he needs that high again, and guess who comes a knocking on your door!!

So here the thing is if you continue to allow this man to emotional abuse you like this, then you might as well go out and buy the red cape "little red riding hood" because you KNOW he is just a wolf ready to eat you up!! Not trying to be harsh, but someone needs to be open your eyes so you don't get hurt yet again!!

Take care

[flow87]

I allowed him to come back each time because I love him, and I have never had these feelings for anyone before... I know I was taking a huge risk taking him back. I had no idea he would leave after one day without even trying!
However I don't think its just about sex for him, he has slept with other girls since we broke up and he is a VERY good looking guy and has girls throwing themselves at him... so he can get sex very easily.

Thank you for your reply. I do know he is just playing with my emotions... but I just don't know how to get over this and move on... I still want him to come back, isn't that crazy? After he's hurt me so much! I just think about the good times and how AMAZING it was and how in love we were and how neither of us had ever been happier... its hard to forget all that..

Anyone else??

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...do-506635.html



What would you call a person who falls for a line of crap over, and over again?

[vanheart]

I hope you don't prolong these ridiculous thoughts.

Your feelings are misguided. Clouded by sex & his BS promises vs. a real relationship.

You are as much to blame as him now.

He wants everything else but you, but wants you hanging around for seconds.

You should never be second to anyone.

If you want to be in a relationship, he's not your guy.

Never speak to him again. NC, yo.

Be single. Like him.