[tonyat25]

My little brother just turned 24. He has most always been somewhat of a distant depressed type of child. He suffers from a lazy bowel and migrains and lately a bad case of tmj. He used to always say as long as he believed in GOD he would never kill himself. The past few times when he has drank his emotions have ran out of control It started here at my home the first time. He kept getting angry challenging my husband finally my husband snapped and grabbed him up. I of course got in the middle of that and took my brother home ( home being my dads place) on the way he broke the winshield in my car and cried because he didn't mean to, After this it wasn't until he got drunk and into it with my dad before he came back to my house. I avoided bringing any alcohol into my home trying to keep the problem under control. Then one night at my dads he calls me at 3am talking about how he had cut himself and his matress and chair and dad wasn't home and there were guns and so on. I sat up the entire night crying. The next day I went and got him for some reason if he is here I think he is safe. Then last night was the latest incident at 1am he calls immediately I can tell he had been drinking. He tells me how there is no god and how he has made up his mind he was going to kill himself he wanted to tell me goodbye I refused to tell him bye... he said he cut himself... at 5am my dad calls and says my brother walked out in the cold and said he was coming to my house so I jumped into the car and off to find him I go. Finally found him brought him to my house he has approx 50 slices on his arm I cannot deal with thid stress I have 2 little girls still in diapers to take care of. I love my brother but I don't understand why he only calls me never our mother or anyone else. He says he is lonely and will always be and has nothing and never will. I try telling him he I young and so on nothing I say seems to be the right thing though. My husband thinks he does it on purpose because he knows it hurts me and he can manipulate me... I don't know anymore. I'm losing my mind trying to save his. Please help... I need advice

[smoothy]

Go to the court and try to get him committed... he is clearly a threat to himself and others. He needs treatment and counseling and he could simlpy walk out if he went himself. And he is in dire need of professional help. Even if he doesn't recognise it.

As an adult that's about the only way to force someone to get help they may not want or think they need.

And if you try and are refused... at least you did try.

Its really not a do it yourself project as I am sure you understand based in your obvious frustration and how upset you are.

[tonyat25]

I ask him all the time if he wants me to make an appointment for him to talk to someone he always says no, if he can't help himself no one else can. Last night was the first night I have ever heard him admit he needs help but he still won't go

[tonyat25]

He says if I call the cops he will kill himself before they get here, or if I sign a hygiene warrant on him he will fight the cops when they arrive... I'm so torn with this I love my little brother but this is killing me inside and hurting my own fam

[smoothy]

If that's not a cry for help... then what is... make sure you let the court know what you just said... and just don't tell him in advance. He's going to be upset at the beginning... but after he gets the treatment he needs and his thought processes are more clear... he will probibly thank you.

After all... you do see where the status quo is getting him. And as you know... he's far from being in a position to help himself... much less anyone else.

He may threaten to kill himself now if anyone tries to help him... but he will certainly kill himself if he continues on the path he is currently on if nobody does.

And he really does need the help of professionals that don't have emotional ties to him.

[tonyat25]

I know what you say is true and exactly what needs done I guess its just hard because I have to go against my little brothers wishes. Since I went and got him wed I think it was he has been fine. I have tried to talk to him he says he just wants everyone to leave him alone so he can forget about what has happened (him cutting himself) I mentioned that maybe he should not drink anymore until he battles whatever demons it is that is causing this problem... of course that just made him a little upset. I just want him to know I care and I am not prying to be a nosey sister... I just worry so much about him. I love my brother. Thank you for your replies... this is my way of feeling better... talking to my husband lol does not much good he isn't the sensitive emotional sit down and have heart to heart kind of person, so thank you for listening much obliged.

[smoothy]

Glad it helped... but do remember, as you know... its going to happen again unless he gets the help he needs. Even if its not what he wants. So far nothing has changed... and nothing will without professional help.

And there is no shame in needing help... only in refusing it if its available.

[tonyat25]

I don't know sometimes I think my husband is right.. that he does these things to get at me. He thinks I screwed up his life by leaving him behind to make and have my own family... he feels abandoned and alone.. he doesn't really have any friends and he doesn't have a girlfriend... the one girl he cares for only uses him for whatever she can... money, cigs, pay bills... and he gets NOTHING in return except feeling even worse about himself. When it was just my brother and I living together he would get so pissed if I wanted to go out to the bar or whatever... he would throw a fit until I would stay home... a form of manipulation if you ask me... I don't know what caused all these problems I just know that their certainly there and a problem for me. I have my own things to deal with lol headed for divorce at 100 mph have 2 small babies things are overwhelming but got to do what you got to do