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moe1124 · Feb 4, 2011, 01:12 AM

My wife is always asking me about my problems with my FAMILY... what am I suppose to answer... because I find it really hard to give her an answer... and when I say no there is nothing she gets mad... please I need some advices on how to answer her and how to change a subject if I don't want to talk about it... anyone can save my marriage... and also I need some advices on subjects that I can talk to my wife about... because I'm a little bad on communications...

zizigooloo · Feb 4, 2011, 02:19 AM

@MOE1124: My understanding of your question is "you had or have some problems with your family (parents? siblings?) that you don't wanna talk about them with your wife" if it is so, there are 2 possibilities:
1) You have some kind of problems with your family that THEY ARE EFFECTING YOUR MARRIAGE now. In this case, your wife has noticed those problems and their affects on your relationship.So I think maybe she immaturely tries to dig your mind to find out what is going on there.
I believe if this is the case, you need to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself "why I am not comfortable talking about my family issues with my wife?" you need to find the answer of this question. Then, find those annoying problems and share them with your wife who is concern about you and your marriage.

2)If there was really nothing concerning between you and your family and you are just sick of repeating same conversation about your family issues. In this case, I still think there is some problems in your relationship that made your wife thinks all these turmoil are coming from the background that you had with your family. In this case, you need to assure her that she focused too much on a wrong assumption. Then, you two should look for the roots of the problem existing in your marriage.
Good luck

answerme_tender · Feb 4, 2011, 02:44 PM

Well you won't be the first or last person to have problems communicating and that goes for the people that talk all the TIME!!

Your wife just wants to be let in on what is happening with your family. Remember she feels that she is your best friend and being in that position feels that you should be letting her in on the happenings with your family members. It would wonderful to be able to actually say that you are uncomfortable talking to her about them, but in reality that might very well cause hell to open up and snatch you right up!!

You might want to just advise you don't know anything new and that you really don't want to get involved with THEIR issues.

Listen its hard for any us to have a conversation with someone that we don't really have anything in common with even if it is your spouse. This happens more often with someone who is shy. So why not start a hobbie with your wife, something you both would enjoy enough to do together.

It could be a sport such as bowling, or mix league softball, anything. I have friends that actually started up a horseshoe mixed league---they love it. If sports aren't your thing maybe it can be something to do with volunteering--special needs, homeless, elderly---or just helping school kids with studies. Get into a bookclub---anything!!

Something shared, also means something to talk about that both of you can relate to and be passionate about!!

Good luck --take care

moe1124 · Feb 4, 2011, 05:38 PM

OK that's how it is...
We've been married for 5 years now... we have a beautiful son... at first it was all good and we were like best husband and wife ever... I work on a minimum wage job and we were both happy... now she wants me to change who am I and become different... she is asking me to get a better job and what not... she's asking me to finish my school... knowing that I can't... and I admit we're both from the middle class... and she wants to get to the high class in one shot... and when I try to make her understand that it won't happen in a blink of an eye.. she started rejecting me...

Any advice anyone please because our marriage is going down the hill...

Thank you in advance

joypulv · Feb 4, 2011, 05:44 PM

What country?
Does she work?
Did she finish high school?
Do you have GED classes where you live?
What are you living on (can't be one minimum wage job)?
Sit down and TALK. Ask her for a plan, and don't say yes or no, say you will work on it.
And then do so, and write it all down, and make plans, and sit down once a month to report.
Marriage and parenthood is indeed a job in itself and you can't just glide youthfully along - all of a sudden you are middle age and then old and very very broke.