Does he still want me?

dianne_betsy · Feb 1, 2011, 01:12 PM

I'm working in a call center company and I happened to meet this guy who is in a relationship but having some issue and problems with his long time girlfriend already.

As days go by we've known each other. During office hours we used to chat through hot mail, we don't miss a day not to chat. We then developed this sort of feelings that we like each other.

At a later time I noticed that I am getting close to falling in love with him.Since he has a girlfriend I decided to stop texting or chatting with him as often as before. I gave him my last message saying that indeed I feel something for him and he said he felt the same. We then both agreed that he must fix first whatever that he needs to do before pursuing whatever that we have. He said he'll fix things first and if by the time he had it fix I would still be there for him. He said he is so into me. When I told him I'll wait he told me not to.

Recently I don't feel the same feeling anymore just like we had before. Then sometime this week a friend of ours talked to me saying she had a conversation with this guy I am talking about and he said that he really like me and there are lot of things that he would want to tell me. When my friend told him that I am a great person and I don't deserve to be just a third party he think a bit and answered my friend. Okay, I won't continue this anymore. I don't want to hurt her and I don't want her to hope for something I may not be able to give her.

My question is, would it be the end really?doesn't he like me anymore? I really like him. What shall I do?

talaniman · Feb 1, 2011, 02:41 PM

Leave him alone, he may like you but, he is busy with his girlfriend. They may be together a long time, so don't hold your breath waiting, and in the future, don't get involved with someone who has someone already. That's a NO-NO, and a recipe for disaster, and a waste of time. Get someone who is ready, and available, for what you want.

answerme_tender · Feb 1, 2011, 02:49 PM

I agree with Tal---you need to move on and find your own man. No offense but didn't you even think of how you would feel if you were in the shoes of his girlfriend. Wouldn't you expect that you could trust your boyfriend to work and not mess around or even give the appearance that you may like a girl more then just a work associate!! If he really wanted a relationship with you instead of his girlfriend nothing would have stopped him from ending that relationship.

I would just chalk this up to lesson learned and move on with your life. Never mix business with pleasure--hardly ever works out

Take care

dianne_betsy · Feb 1, 2011, 04:06 PM

Thanks.. I gathered expert opinions and they all told me the same thing. I just can't really help it.. his words and actions made me feel like this.. I can feel he really like me too. Should I still give d letter I did for him? I'm planning to give this hearts day.. :(

talaniman · Feb 1, 2011, 07:59 PM

Burn it!! Look ahead, not back.

ITstudent2006 · Feb 1, 2011, 08:05 PM

Very seldom are we able to control our feelings. It's human nature. It's what we do with these feelings and how we react to them that defines us as individuals.

I believe it would be best for all involved if you left him alone. Push your feelings aside, and move on. He is obviously in a relationship and doesn't need a second person cramming his already chaotic relationship.

missamelia · Feb 1, 2011, 10:34 PM

He is in a relationship so it should be an easy choice for you. Nothing good could come from it apart from his girlfriend getting hurt and you too.

dianne_betsy · Feb 2, 2011, 04:20 AM

Damn.. I can't believe I am feeling this.. he's on a vacation leave for 5 days so we weren't able to chat or something. I only text him when he text me. I wanted to delete him on my FB friends list however he find it rude or something.. he always likes my shout out and every time he does it I have the feeling that he always visit my account to check whether I have post something the has something to do with what I truly feel. If you only knew how I feel.. (sigh)

talaniman · Feb 2, 2011, 07:46 AM

What makes you think we don't know exactly how you feel??

ITstudent2006 · Feb 2, 2011, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by dianne_betsy

damn.. i can't believe i am feeling this.. he's on a vacation leave for 5 days so we weren't able to chat or something. i only text him when he text me. i wanted to delete him on my FB friends list however he find it rude or something.. he always likes my shout out and everytime he does it i have the feeling that he always visit my account to check wether i have post something the has something to do with what i truly feel. if you only knew how i feel.. (sigh)

We have all been in your shoes at one point of time or another. I was engaged when I met my current wife... you think I didn't have issues sorting them feelings out... no matter what you're experiencing in life, someone, somewhere, has been through the same thing.

dianne_betsy · Feb 2, 2011, 07:53 AM

Because maybe you weren't able to be on this situation before? God, I'm missing him.. :( but I am not getting in touch with him anymore. I just hope this process won't take long. Because I can't take it anymore..

So you broke yer engagement for yer wife? Don't you think he has the potential to leave her girl for me too?

Hi missamelia.. how could it be easy if I really feel something deep for him?but I am already taking my move. I cut connection with him. I'm missing him though.. I just hope forgetting him won't be a long term process.

Threads merged

How to manage a feeling for someone who has someone else?
I'm having this deep unbderstanding with someone who has someone else already. I knew that he is committed and its just so odd that we both like and feell something each other. He said if only he doesn't have that girl he would do everything to have me. He is with this girl over a year now and admitted that there are many problems he is having with this girl. He said he doesn't want the girl anymore but I'm confused why he can't leave her. He said when the time comes that he is already free he would comeback and look after me. Do you think he meant it when he said it? What he feels is undeniable because I can really feel it. He cares and he said he doesn't want me to be just his third party so he'll fix things first. He even said he respects me and doesn't want to hurt me. However he doesn't want me to wait. He said I just have to live my life and not to wait for him because he doesn't want to be selfish. Is he confused of what he feels too? If he's really so into me why won't he allow me to wait for him?I am really running around in circles right now.. I really don't know what to do, what to expect and what to feel anymore. Please help.

answerme_tender · Feb 2, 2011, 09:03 AM

Well we have advised, and I know that you care for him. But remember what goes around will come back around and knock you right on backside when you least expect it. Lets put it this way if he will cheat on his current girlfriend or dump her for you. Well I wouldn't get comfortable in the girlfriend set because he wouldn't hesitate to do samething to you!! Come on you are old enough not to still be playing the high school games.

tickle · Feb 2, 2011, 09:06 AM

He seems to be ambivalent about your feelings for him and doesn't want to move on from his current g/f. This is what I get out of your post. Don't think you should count very much on him; seems wishy washy about having a relationship with you.

Take one day at a time and don't dwell on what it could be like with him, because I don't think it will come to anything, any time soon.

If he really wanted to be with you, then he would move heaven and earth to do so, which he isn't doing.

Tick

dianne_betsy · Feb 2, 2011, 09:12 AM

I'm sorry.. but in my twenty years of existence I only had loved twice so I'm immature about this things.. :(

Hi tick,thanks for that. (sigh) I'm just so into him man.. can't help it.. :(

answerme_tender · Feb 2, 2011, 09:32 AM

Being immature has nothing to do with our moral characters. We have all be taught right from wrong. I understand that you have feelings and want a boyfriend. From looking at your picture on your id, you appear to be a very attractive young lady and should have absolutely no problems going out and getting a man of your own. You will appreciate this type of relationshp more then the one someone else's boyfriend.

Take care

ITstudent2006 · Feb 2, 2011, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by dianne_betsy

so you broke yer engagement for yer wife? dont you think he has the potential to leave her girl for me too?

No. I did not break off our engagement because I had feelings for another girl. We stayed together but eventually down the road we did end up splitting up. At this time I was still hanging out with my friend who introduced me to my current wife (happens to be his sister) and we started hanging out again, and WALAH!!

Do not turn this on me. I am merely stating that just because I had feelings, doesn't mean I had to act on them. Neither do you, he is taken and you should step away!

talaniman · Feb 2, 2011, 09:56 AM

Sometimes, common sense, logical think, and the lines of good behavior get blurred by those darn intense feelings of hurt, rejection, and disappointment. Takes time to sort through the mess.

dianne_betsy · Feb 3, 2011, 06:45 AM

Thanks guys for all the advises.. :) I'll take all your words.. Tc",) it'll be hard to avoid though but I'll get rid of it till he's free.. and I just hope I could find someone better whois not in any type of commitment with someone else..

J_9 · Feb 3, 2011, 06:58 AM

I don't know if I'm missing something, but have you two met face-to-face? Do you work together?

dianne_betsy · Feb 3, 2011, 07:07 AM

YES! We are working in the same office. He used to tease me, he always go to my station and make stories with me.. he's smiles are forever. He doesn't fail to make me smile and laugh. That's why I fell I guess because of the sweetness and friendship he is giving me.

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