Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    BAMitsKathryn's Avatar
    BAMitsKathryn Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 29, 2011, 11:18 PM
    Should I wait? Or should I just give up on it?
    This is long.. sorry XD

    There's a guy that I met through the internet about 2 months ago. At first, we talked 24/7. We would text non-stop all day long, then for about a week, we'd talk on the phone at night for a few hours. We went on around 7 dates; two of which were at each other's houses watching movies and cuddling on the couch. We haven't kissed yet, but I was pretty positive that he liked me at least a little. As time went on, our texting/talking slowed (which I expected. That happens to everyone at some point. You can't go non-stop texting all day, every day.). The last time we went out together, we went to a karaoke thing with a few of my other friends. After that, we've barely talked at all :(
    I don't know whether its because I did something wrong, or what. Almost a week went by that he didn't text me; he finally texted me and told me "sorry for lack of communication. Work and school makes my life pretty hectic, not including all the family stuff going on with me right now." And I completely understand. I'm busy with work and school too; it can get hard at times. We texted the rest of the night, and he seemed interested in the conversation, and enthusiastic to talk to me (no one or two word texts like most people do when they don't feel like talking. He's never done that). NOW, over a week has passed with no contact, yet again. It makes me sad because I was really starting to like the guy.. and this whole "not talking" thing is making me second-guess if he was ever really interested at all.

    FYI: When we first started texting, it wasn't just him texting me, or vise-versa. Some days I would start the "texting conversation," and other days he would. It was a healthy balance I guess you could say. Towards the end, after the Karaoke night, I felt I was the only one starting the conversations and keeping them going. I'm not the kind of girl to chase a guy, and I'm not the clingy girl who tries to make them stay. I stopped texting him because my thinking was: if he wanted to talk to me, he would make it happen and text me. Aaaaaand, it would at least give me some reassurance that he actually wanted to talk and was thinking about me.

    So now, it's been 10 days of no contact and I'm wondering if I should just suck it up and text him, or just kind of give it up on whatever "could have been" because it's apparently not happening. If that's the case, then so be it; whatever happens, happens. I'd just like someone else's opinion on the matter.
    Just no mean/sarcastic comments please XD
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #2

    Jan 30, 2011, 12:34 AM
    It shouldn't be a relationship killer to ask after 2 months, even though it hasn't really gotten off the ground yet. 'Is this just not working out for you; I miss you but can move on if need be.' He may need to know that he won't have to deal with any recriminations. But he may have been letting his studies suffer (I wonder how he managed to do work and school and all that texting!) and now is dealing with bad grades, loss of job, angry parents, who knows. I'd wait a wee bit longer.
    angelicaflorine's Avatar
    angelicaflorine Posts: 17, Reputation: 8
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jan 30, 2011, 04:21 AM
    Personally, I would come right out with it. "I haven't heard from you and wanted to know what's going on." Although, joypulv's reaction is a lot nicer. Lol. You have to be a straight shooter sometimes when it comes to dating. If he doesn't answer or does the two-worded thing, then I would cut my losses. I've been in this situation before and I've always said that if I don't hear from them in seven days, then I'm moving on. It may seem cruel, but I have to protect my interest (me).
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Jan 30, 2011, 04:26 AM

    How long does it take to send a text? 20 seconds? Less.

    No one is so busy that they can't send a 20 second text over a ten day period to say, 'sorry I'm so busy right now but I'm thinking about you, and will make a date in the week'...

    He not interested, or has lost interest.

    In my time being single no matter how busy or messed up a guy is, if he is interested he will make time or at the very least keep in contact.

    Move on.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Jan 31, 2011, 08:15 AM

    Well you went along with the program before, why not again? Personally I think you should have been straight up before about how you felt, after the long period of no contact whatsoever. He probably thinks you are okay with it.

    What throws me off though is all that texting and talking, and no agreement to cover that long period of not contacting each other even through a quick text? Makes me wonder is all.

    Shoot him a text, and see what's up, but now that you know how he can disappear, don't put a lot of eggs in his basket, I mean even with a busy life, who doesn't have time for a text? You can do that on the toilet at work, if he wanted to, but maybe he is wondering the same about you too, so cover the bases, but leave plenty of wiggle room for yourself.

    That what dating is about, finding out about another person, and sometimes its great, sometimes it ain't. So don't get too locked in while you are learning.

    Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Should I wait and just give her time and space? [ 11 Answers ]

Well about a week ago my Girlfriend broke up with me she just moved down here a year ago in about two months from Wisconsin where her dad and her baby sister live at but she is 18 years old and I'm 17 years old in November she turns 19 well she says that she doesn't want a relationship with not...

Should I give up or wait for him to call? [ 1 Answers ]

There was this dude that liked me and I like him too but for some reason we just never went out. He got a girlfriend and they were together for like 3 months but now they broke up I think and I was wondering if I should let it go and let the past be the past or should I wait for him to call me so...

I'm stuck on someone who says not to wait on him but not to give up on him [ 13 Answers ]

He tells me not to wait on him but not to give up on him. He is in a relationship that is going down hill for the most part. He talks to me a lot about moving in with him and spending time together. We talk about our dreams and passions together and I know we both love each other VERY much. ...

Will I wait for his marriage or give it up? [ 6 Answers ]

Whenever I need something to figure out, I pray. If I have decisions to make, I try to pray. But now that I am getting older, I still have problem on distinguishing answers to my prayer. I am confused. I want to get married soon and have my own family but my boyfriend of tow years seem to keep on...


View more questions Search