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sadshortty · Jan 30, 2011, 12:21 AM

Hey I'm 24 yrs old my boyfriend is 28, I met him a year ago and since then we have really fallen in love with each other. Unfortunately when I met him he had a girlfriend but we both never expected to fall for one another the way we did.

It took him 4 1/2 months to break up with her but a couple of hours after he did, she revealed her pregnancy. He made it very clear to me that he did not want to be with her and he is staying with me. So far I'm trying my best to trust what he says. Today was his baby shower and I couldn't help but get a little depressed.

I'm happy that he is happy to have a child of his own. And he talks about seeing his son every single day when he is born, and he also wants to witness the birth. I know that he is not wrong for wanting to be a great father but it is very hard for me to adjust to this situation. I just want some advise on keeping our relationship going.

We don't live together yet and I know I'm hardly going to see him when the baby is born. That's what I'm really afraid of. What should I do. And what can WE do??

Edited for chat/text. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html

angelicaflorine · Jan 30, 2011, 04:16 AM

Either grow up and let him do what he needs to do because nothing will ever come between a parent and their child. OR, find someone else. Obviously you have some sort of insecurity or trust issue going on. You deserve full attention of someone, if that's what you want. If you feel like he's not giving you what you want then you need to find someone who will.

However, that being said, you should take what he says at face value. He's telling you that he wants to be in this baby's life every day and he doesn't want to be with the baby's mom. I wouldn't question his motives until after the baby is born and you can actually SEE what's happening and how he is going to act.

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

talaniman · Jan 30, 2011, 09:46 AM

unfortunately when I met him he had a girlfriend but we both never expected to fall for one another the way we did. It took him 4 1/2 months to break up with her

That's a nice way of putting he was cheating on her with you, but they were obviously still having sex, so its not surprising you have a hard time believing a lying cheater. I highly suggest you back off to a safe emotional distance to see how this plays out.

He wants to be a good dad so you have NO choice but to let him, because he is tied to this female for a long time, as they have a child coming, and will have to have some sort of relationship to raise that child.

Just so you know, I am not buying that it took 4 and a half months to break up with her, and then she comes up pregnant. Neither should you as that's just wishful thinking on your part, but what you should be aware of he lied and cheated on her, and no doubt he would do it to you, NO DOUBT

sadshortty · Jan 30, 2011, 10:28 AM

Hey angelica thanks for the wishes but I don't think I'm being childish about the situation I love the fact that he wants to be a great father, ijust want to know what can we do to keep our relationship strong?? I have 2 kids myself so I know the feeling.

Comment on talaniman's post

Your right he cheated on her he can do it to me, but she try 2 hide the pregnancy and even lied about getting an abortion so I do believe him she said it herself, and soon as he broke up with her she told him she was pregnant, 2 c if it would keep him.

talaniman · Jan 30, 2011, 11:24 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html

She has gone through a lot to keep him, and its seems so will you. While I can understand your feelings about this fellow, I don't understand why you ignore the facts. He IS a lying cheater. What more do you need to know? Don't let your feelings get in the way of the facts, or you end up like the ex, and just as desperate!