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Junior Member
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Jan 27, 2011, 12:43 PM
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Do you regret the way you treated your parents when you were younger?
This is to older people. So, You know like when you were anywhere from age 15 and up.. please state your age and why you do or do not regret the way you treated them...
I'm 19 and am male, and am curious to know what you guys would say.
Thank you..
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Ultra Member
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Jan 27, 2011, 12:49 PM
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When I was younger, I was mentally and physically abused by my dad and step-mom. I wasn't able to treat them any other way but with respect or I was expecting a hit in the face or elsewhere. I didn't like them growing up but I will say it made me the way I am today and I am thankful for that much. My mom on the other hand is the nicest, loving parent any child could ask for and I respected her for that and loved her very much. I am now 21 by the way.
Also, I think some of today's kids have it to easy, I am not recommending abuse or anything like that, just the strictness that was applied over the years.
A lot of parents now adays are very good at parenting but others not so much.
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Junior Member
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Jan 28, 2011, 01:36 PM
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I had one hell of an argument fixation. Couldn't stop until they admitted that I was right. Which just drove them crazy. Today I look at their level of affection for me, they genuinely care about me, to me this means that in spite of the hard times we have put EACH OTHER through, we stay in the now and help one another out.
From what I understand about parenthood, is that parent equally beat themselves up about their actions during the puberty years of their children growth. This is because they knew that their kids would get difficult to deal with inevitably, and instead of understanding and working through it, the behavior got to them and provoked emotional responses. Every parent regrets even raising their voice at a confused child.
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Junior Member
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Jan 28, 2011, 01:37 PM
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Many parents are held in emotional limbo, they feel like they failed at their basic duty and are waiting for an "I forgive you" moment.
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Expert
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Jan 29, 2011, 07:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Animus
I had one hell of an argument fixation. Couldn't stop until they admitted that I was right. Which just drove them crazy. Today I look at their level of affection for me, they genuinely care about me, to me this means that in spite of the hard times we have put EACH OTHER through, we stay in the now and help one another out.
From what I understand about parenthood, is that parent equally beat themselves up about their actions during the puberty years of their children growth. This is because they knew that their kids would get difficult to deal with inevitably, and instead of understanding and working through it, the behavior got to them and provoked emotional responses. Every parent regrets even raising their voice at a confused child.
I raised 5 children. It is not inevitable that they become difficult to deal with.
I have never hit a child. Not even a swat on the butt. And I seldom raised my voice and do not regret the times I did.
Where did you come by your information? I find it flawed and defeatist.
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New Member
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Jan 30, 2011, 09:19 AM
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Hi. I'm 20, and I looove my mom, but it hasn't always been that way. When I was around 13 we started to fight. We would fight over everything and anything. Obviously I always assumed I was right, but looking back at things, I know I was a bit harsh on her... So yes, I have some regrets, but I also know it's never to late to change things. Well, maybe not never... But I did it and so can you (:
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Junior Member
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Jan 30, 2011, 01:09 PM
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Comment on martinizing2's post
@martinizing2... not all children are like yours... you have to understand that there are some children who just develop the most nasty attitudes and behaviors..
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Junior Member
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Jan 30, 2011, 01:10 PM
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Ha thank you!
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Expert
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Jan 30, 2011, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by ;
@martinizing2.... not all children are like yours....you have to understand that there are some children who just develop the most nasty attitudes and behaviors..
Quote jagbag11
I understand some children are allowed to develop nasty attitudes and behaviors.
Attitude and behavior will develop along the lines they are guided into. Lack of structure and discipline allows the development of unwanted behavior and that leads to the bad attitude.
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Pets Expert
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Jan 30, 2011, 02:03 PM
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I do regret some of my teen years. I didn't always listen to my parents, because, like many teens, I thought I knew everything. I was bullet proof, and I could make my own decisions. LMAO! Boy do I wish that I knew then what I know now.
My parents were great. They were strict, but at the same time they let me spread my wings. Thankfully they were always there to catch me if I fell. Because of them I became a very confident woman.
Now I'm 40, with two kids of my own, one a pre-teen. My son, the 12 year old, is starting to pull away from me a bit, like most teens do. It's natural, it's normal, but it doesn't have to be a battle. We've always had a great relationship, he knows he can talk to me about anything and everything, and he does. I hope that continues.
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Expert
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Jan 30, 2011, 02:06 PM
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And when I was growing up , a long time ago, if a child tried to treat their parents badly they would get their a$$ kicked.
Not a metaphor , the real thing
Very very few were given the opportunity to do much in the way of acting out and keeping all their teeth.
I do not agree with any form of corporal punishment, but it did make things a lot different than they are today.
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Ultra Member
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Jan 30, 2011, 04:00 PM
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I am old and I had older parents than most (I was born when they were in their forties).
I was somewhere around two generations different or something like that.
Treating parents badly was not an option. They weren't my friends-that school of thought hadn't arrived yet. They had remedies for that (not very severe in my case--a few terse words were usually sufficient). Embarrassing the family was a no-no and that dampened some of the temptations.
My only regret is that I didn't have enough time during my working years to "debrief" them sufficiently.
They could have told me the answers to a lot of questions that come as you get older.
Bottom line is--I never bit the hand that fed and clothed me.
I did plenty of things they didn't know about but that is about the extent of my crimes. I have no regrets.
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