[brb555]

My girlfriend is 36 I'm 25. We instantly fell in love and I have an amazing relationship with her daughter. I moved in and things were getting serious.. talks and stuff. I think she has commitment issues from her past and when we starting acting different and arguing more she got scared and now wants a break. She says she loves me and her feelings haven't changed but her alone she know its safe and stress and confusion free.

[talaniman]

How long was this instant love thing before you moved in? Sometimes people need a while to adjust to each other before they decide about living together so how long did you date?

[brb555]

Hahaha you that's the thing... we rushed real quick into things and we both know that... its going to sound crazy, but 4 months together and I moved in after 1 month... but giving the circumstances and how we felt it just seemed nothing but right at the time...

[brb555]

My girlfriend wants a break to miss us and figure things out, she won't let me see her daughter cause she's over protective and doesn't want to confuse her,absolutely understandable. Her daughter calls me almost everyday saying how much she misses me and loves me,her daughter is taking it hard that I'm not around and my girlfriend knows this but hasn't told her to stop or told me to stop for now

[Fr_Chuck]

She should, but it is hard to tell kids know. The real mistake was to let you in and around the child before she was really sure,

[talaniman]

After the whirlwind honeymoon comes a period of adjustment that slows things down to manageable level, where you both can see what's really going on, and make decisions how to proceed.

You like many of us do are so worried, and carried away by your feelings, that you fail to see that the changes that have been made are for the best, and your actions are to be changed accordingly, especially in dealing with a child.

Relax, and get practical, and see this as a way of her keeping the lines of communications open, and I think you will see a bigger picture, and stop just thinking through the lens of your own feelings and wants, and see and empathize with what's everyone else's feelings and wants are.

YOU must adjust to the NEW changes before you in a thoughtful, mature way, as that's the only chance to build, and not tear down what you have. Appreciate you have some contact, as opposed to none at all.

[brb555]

I know what you are saying... for the past three weeks we have been talking and I've been attempting to get her back in all the wrong ways. I haven't talked to her for 5 days, I want to respect her needs and give her the space. I know its really what she wants and needs to clear her mind. I love her and her daughter so much, I would do anything for them,even if it means this... she said she still loves me and her feelings haven't changed for me,and she really emphasized on missing us again... and obviously haven't giving her the chance up until 5 days ago.