[Helenwozere]

I need help, please someone talk to me. I am 30 years old and I have 3 kids, 13, 12 and 5. I started real young, when I was 16 I had my first child and 17 when I had my second one then when I was 22 we decided to try for another. I had 8 miscarriages and then when I was 24 found out I was pregnant on twins and when I was 4 months gone I lost one baby but carried the other full term. And had a healthy baby. My problem is I'm broody, I mean sooo broody every second I am awake I am thinking about having a baby, I walk up and down past the baby clothes in a shop or stand there smelling the baby powder and when I'm asleep I dream about having a baby. But my partner who I have been with for the last 16 years and is the only man I have ever been with says he NEVER wants to have another baby and now all we do is fight about it and our love life is suffering to say the least. Can anyone help me?? Please

[redhed35]

May I ask if you have ever had any counselling for the babies you lost?

That is a huge emotional trauma, do you think the losses you had have anything to do with the longing you have now?

Have you had your hormone levels checked?

How your feeling could be a physical and/or emotional, whatever the cause its effecting you now on a day to day basics and affecting your relationship.

My advice is talk to your doctor, get a physical done and check out counselling services in your area, there may be groups, mothers, women who have been through the same as you and talking about it will help.

[Helenwozere]

No I have never had counselling or anything. Thanks for answering me. I was beginning to think no one was going to.

[redhed35]

Everyone volunteers here, there are people from all around the world so the time zones may be different.

Other people will reply to your post and offer other suggestions that you may find helpful.

Keep an eye on your post for any updates, and I hope things improve for you soon.

[Helenwozere]

Thank you so much.

[QLP]

Can't really add anything to Red's suggestion. If it were me I'd be getting that physical then looking at the counselling.

Maybe the fact that your partner has made it clear he never wants any more children has pushed you into accepting that effectively your child-bearing has come to an end before you were ready to face that idea. Or maybe you have a different idea as to how many children is ideal compared to your partner. Counselling would be a great place to explore all this.

[answerme_tender]

Helen,

My Mother stated having children early in her life, about same age as yourself. She had totally of 6 children, and way too many miscarriages. All these losses cause her not only emotional but physcial sickness. This woman could barely get herself out of bed, she just couldn't deal with anything. Of course this effected us children, I was severely abused by my adopted father, was expected to do all house chores,cooking,laundry,etc. Also to raise younger siblings.

I also know what its like to lose a baby, its extremely difficult to pull yourself out of that void. But I did because I had a litle girl that needed me, and I knew exactly what it was to watch your mother brood about the children she lost and couldn't have over the one who were there desperate for her love. Im not just talking love, but actual interest in their lives, what they were doing in school, activities, etc...

Its time to pull yourself out of the VOID of loss and get help from a counselor. There is NEVER any shame to admitting that as a mother we need help!!

I really believe if my Mother would have gotten that help, she would have realized that being a mother isn't about how many children you have, but what you do with the ones you do have. Being there not just physically, but mentally. Remember interest is a very big thing to anyone,especially your own child.

I wish you the best please keep in touch. Take care