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silentscreamx3 · Jan 17, 2011, 02:57 PM

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 months now. On New Year's Eve he came over, and we were together for a while. He went home, and I started to cry. I had no idea what was going on, and why I was crying. Ever since then, whenever we hang up the phone, he has to get off Facebook, leaves my house or I leave his, or we drop each other off from a date, I cry. It started a lot when he went away to Michigan for Christmas Break too. Why am I like this? Can I get some answers please?

joypulv · Jan 17, 2011, 05:05 PM

We can't possibly know why you cry when he leaves! We know NOTHING about you. Telling us he left after a date or being at your house is not meaningful.

It could be depression that has been brewing in you long before you met him, it could be that something about the way he leaves strikes you as unloving and uncaring, it could be that you have been hurt before, it could be that you remember your father walking out on your mother. It could be a thousand reasons, or a combination of any of them. If you can't even begin to fathom it, see a therapist. Having her or him say 'It's time to stop now' may feel awful and you may cry, and you can talk about it the next session.

talaniman · Jan 17, 2011, 06:02 PM

Maybe you just miss the guy, or you are a very emotional person. Did this crying thing just start, or have you always cried about things??

silentscreamx3 · Jan 18, 2011, 06:28 AM

Comment on talaniman's post

I mean my mom did walk out on my dad and I when I was little, and I cried about that for a couple years and then I stopped. I only just started this around new year's eve when he left my house.

Comment on joypulv's post

I haven't been depressed about anything at all.

My friends have told me it could be numerous things, and a lot of them actually make sense. My mom did leave my dad and I when I was little, and I cried about that for a few years, but then stopped. Unfortunately, this has only been since new year's eve.

My friends told me it could be abandonment issues because of my mom, separation anxiety because I see him a lot, I'm in love with him, and I just purely miss him.

It could also be because I'm afraid he'll leave me. I know he won't and he's told me many times he won't leave me, but again, I don't know why this is happening.

talaniman · Jan 18, 2011, 07:37 AM

It could well be all of the above as you are maybe feeling old feelings again. But what troubles me the most is not your feelings of abandonment, nor your insecurities. It's that you are having these feelings after only 5 months of dating this fellow. So I ask how long, and how well you knew him before this became so official? Or more to the point, until you formed such a deep attachment to him, after meeting him for the first time.

I must also ask some background to the relationships you have had before them, as I don't think this is something that just started again, but feel you have suppressed a lot of old feelings, and maybe not resolved them.

Do you have a relationship at all with your father? Did your mom remarry, and do you have other siblings? Not being nosy, just need some insights into what you have been through, if you car to share.

answerme_tender · Jan 18, 2011, 07:49 AM

Its doesn't sound like you are having problems with your relationship, at least you didn't mention any. It very well could be from past experiences that have come to the surface.

Have you spoke with your parents about what is going on. You know it NEVER hurts to talk it out with them, see if you could perhaps see a counselor to talk openly about what happened and how you felt. I would take the step now to get some understanding on what is happening and most importantly how to over come them. Do it now, before it starts effecting your every day life, or even relationship. Good luck