Check out some similar questions!

CuriousTeen · Dec 30, 2010, 01:52 PM

Firstly I am a 14 year old guy, and recently I have begun to think that I might be gay. Up until recently I have had girlfriends whom I did like, but now I'm just not finding any women attractive, but starting to find some guys my age are attractive. I don't know if this is just a phase or what? I'm not homophobic or anything like that, it's just who do I consult for this? I don't want to come out with anything, and find out it was just a phase, but right now it looks like I am gay. Any advice?

Fr_Chuck · Dec 30, 2010, 02:01 PM

At 14 you should not be sexual anything, as you grow older you can decide who you wish to have sex with.

bestbessie · Dec 30, 2010, 04:00 PM

Puberty, the sexual maturing of a human, begins at any time between 11 and 14, so of course kids at 14 are aware of their emerging sexual identity! I don't think CuriousTeen that you are asking for advice on who to start having sex with, but you are dealing with feelings of attraction. 6 year olds get crushes on each other- we don't assume that this is sexual behaviour, usually we think it's kind of sweet.

For some of my friends, they say they 'just knew' from a really early age, and others say that they were quite confused and unsure for a few years until they worked it out (either way, gay or straight). I agree that coming out is something that might take a bit of finesse, so give it some time until you do feel quite certain. Teenagers seem to be the absolute worst at keeping secrets especially about this sort of thing, nothing seems to be private.

Do you have a free teen telephone service in your area? We have one here called Kids Helpline, and they're great, it's a good way to have a confidential conversation. I know you've come on here hoping for an answer and that may seem like a lame response, I think this is something that you might want to really talk about.

Wondergirl · Dec 30, 2010, 04:16 PM

As bestbessie said, "Puberty, the sexual maturing of a human, begins at any time between 11 and 14, so of course kids at 14 are aware of their emerging sexual identity!" which means that FrChuck's comment is true -- your sex hormones are still figuring out who you are. Your attraction so far has been to girls, so I'm guessing you are straight. You're not going to be having sex with anyone right now anyway (not until you're older, please!). Relax and get to know lots of young people of both sexes,and give yourself some time (at least four years) to emotionally, physically, and sexually mature more than you are now.

Einstein123 · Jan 15, 2011, 05:29 PM

Every teen is messed up sexually! Just go with the flow, if you don't like it, your straight. If you do like it, your gay but at 14 I wouldn't be worrying about this sort of thing :)

Fr_Chuck · Feb 4, 2011, 01:09 PM

And if you have real friends, they will not care, parents plans for you and your life will not be what they want, parents often over react on anything kids decide that is not what they wanted.

One of my best friends is gay and I had a few in high school
Back in the 60's and early 70s most never came out of course.