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jerroldng · Jan 11, 2011, 05:49 AM

Hi, My girlfriend and I were together for 1 1/2 years, at first we were having a timed-out for a week because she asked for it and I respected her decision. She said that I was clingy and I realized it too, So I tried my best by changing and hoping that she would see. But after the timed-out she told me that she decided that she wants to be single and so I asked her why? She said that she doesn't know? I apologized and told her how I felt about everything and she said that it wasn't my fault and said that she was just confused about everything. But in the end I respected her decision and we broke up, But I feel that everything happens for a reason? Few days after the break up she tried texting me. Short sentences... I still love her and before we broke up I asked if she still loves me and she said yeah. So I kind of need some advice from you guys, I don't know if I should wait for her or try to move on... ):

LoNeLy_HeArT · Jan 11, 2011, 06:24 AM

Hmmmm well don't believe her because if she still loves you she wouldn't ask for breaking up because I'm in the same situation and the best thing to do is to move on because believe me if they love us they won't stay away from us no matter what will happen they have to be in our side and not against us!!

ironhide262 · Jan 11, 2011, 08:51 AM

She's confused! Move on.. if she wants you she will tell you that. Even if that happens I would take it slow and besides have you changed your clingy ways?

talaniman · Jan 11, 2011, 10:24 AM

You keep working on your own personal issues is what you do. Do you text her back??

answerme_tender · Jan 11, 2011, 10:34 AM

She has asked for time, probably due to you being so clingy. If this be the reason, then stop contacting her--period. You need to work on yourself, as to why your so clingy!! Don't get me wrong, we all like to be shown affection, but there is a fine line between affection, and someone becoming a suffocating pain in the backside! Take this time to understand the difference and to make sure you don't do that again, either to her or a new relationship. Take care

jerroldng · Jan 15, 2011, 11:45 AM

Thank you for all your replies! Really appreciate it (: anyway, yeah she does text me sometimes. I guess she just wants to check if I'm doing fine I guess? And I don't start a conversation with her unless she text me and I'll reply her but our conversations are v short and simple straightforward ones. I'm currently working and improving myself so that if we ever get back together there will not be any anything like this happening again (: it's just so difficult to move on knowing that she still loves me and I still feel the same for her too..

talaniman · Jan 15, 2011, 12:18 PM

She may love you, but not the same way you want her too. As a friend maybe? That's why these texts from her, she is just seeing if your ready to be friendly because frankly she is bored. That's not a show of love. For your own good be not so available for answering her texts.

You have to understand that sometimes after a break up, our exes still want us in their lives, as friends, not for romance.

jerroldng · Jan 15, 2011, 12:32 PM

I get it. So if right now I'm carrying a hope that she will be back with me is it a bad thing to do? Or should I just learn to give up completely? Thank you so much for your respond! (:

talaniman · Jan 15, 2011, 12:41 PM

Give up on hope that she will give you what you want, but never on yourself, or the things you enjoy doing. The point being, as you see in my signature below, is don't make her a priority when she makes you an option.

jerroldng · Jan 15, 2011, 01:01 PM

Thank you so much. I know its definitely not going to be easy for me, but I'm going to be strong and do the best for myself now. Really appreciate your help!

jerroldng · Jan 26, 2011, 12:30 AM

Hi, I've been doing quite well recently. Just that yesterday, one of my friend told me that my ex is pissed at me for.. I don't know what reason. He told me she said something like * I tried to be his friend but he is pissing me off and I'm not going to bother anymore * Thing is that I don't talk to her unless she text me and stuffs then I'll reply her. I kind of need advice on this cause it's kind of affecting me mentally.. Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks (:

adam_89 · Jan 26, 2011, 05:34 AM

Just ask her about it next time she texts you if she does. Or how good is this friend of yours? Or maybe the friend is good and is just trying to help you by this method. Anyway, don't try and get your hopes up on this girl. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't then don't give up, just move on.

I was dating a girl about 5 years ago and when she broke up with me, I was devastated. We remained friends afterwards and I always thought there was that chance we could be together because she always said if it was meant to be, then we would be back together. We never did get back together and eventually stopped being friends. I just wish I didn't waste so much time trying to get her back and thinking in my mind that we would get back together. Just don't make the same mistake I did.

talaniman · Jan 26, 2011, 07:35 AM

She dumped you, and still wants what she wants from you. Think about that. Instead of being sympathetic to your hurt, she is pissed because you want to heal, and get beyond the hurt, and need time to adjust to all the changes she has brought to your life.

That's what you tell your friend, right before you tell him you no longer want updates on what she is feeling, or doing. Your state of healing is more important than her drama, so her being pissed at you is not as vital as you healing.

Had you been further along in your healing, you would see that she is being selfish, for her own purposes. Let her be pissed. How dare she break your heart, and still want to walk all over it!!

jerroldng · Jan 26, 2011, 10:30 AM

Thanks for the replies! I'm moving on now, Still feeling so crappy. I feel so disappointed that I've been trying to make things right by working on myself, but she's simply walking away and not bothering about everything anymore. I don't believe in a 1time break up just that I can't believe that she's actually not bothering about the relationship anymore, not even trying to make it right but just leaving everything behind. I do know that she is trying to be friendly by keeping contact with me, just that I do not know why she's pissed at me for.. oh yeah and also, my friend told me today that she actually told him that she has a eyecandy.. does it mean that she has moved on? Should I just forget about everything by leaving everything behind.. or should I try to be friendly by asking her for meet up and try talking everything out?

talaniman · Jan 26, 2011, 10:42 AM

Oh yeah and also, my friend told me today that she actually told him that she has a eye candy..
That was the whole purpose of her talking to your friend, to let you know she has someone

Does it mean that she has moved on?
Thats exactly what she wants you to think

Should I just forget about everything by leaving everything behind..
ABSOLUTELY

Or should I try to be friendly by asking her for meet up and try talking everything out?
ABSOLUTELY NOT

Stick with NC, and let her have her eye candy, and keep doing what you are doing for yourself! Her game is to get your attention so she can relieve her guilt, and get a response from you to stroke her ego! No she doesn't want you back, so forget her.

jerroldng · Jan 26, 2011, 12:24 PM

All right man! I just feel so lost, I miss her quite a lot but I guess there's nothing much I can do if she doesn't wants to be with me. This girl meant so much to me but right now she's gone... how much I wish she could reconsider about everything but its not going to happen I guess...

talaniman · Jan 26, 2011, 02:15 PM

You are supposed to be lost, and confused after a break up. It will pass, eventually as you heal.

jerroldng · Jan 28, 2011, 11:54 PM

There's this Gig coming up around feb and I actually bought the tix earlier before we broke up, So she has the other ticket, Should I turn up? Or should I just not go cause her friends are going as well.

adam_89 · Jan 29, 2011, 07:06 AM

I would try selling the other ticket if you can and try to watch the show another time.

jerroldng · Feb 4, 2011, 04:20 AM

Thanks for your response! So something bad happened again.. She actually found out that I've been talking to her friend, But thing is that I don't bad mouth her or anything. I only asked for advice and checking with the friend on how my ex is doing. I guess someone must have leaked out that I'm actually talking to the friend. So now, From what I heard from my friend <--- which is also her friend. He said that she's really pissed with me. Idk why... But I tried putting myself in her shoe and I guessed that maybe she felt backstab? Because of me talking to the friend I guess. She wrote this on her blog *So I'm the one to blame and you're not the one manipulating everything behind the scenes. Well done. Oscar award for your acting, hope you're proud of yourself. She's making me feel really guilty. I don't wish for anything right now, I just want things to be okay at least... It seemed like her emotions are very unstable now. I wish I could do something to at least let her understand that I meant good when I talk to her friend and I'm not talking to him to bad mouth her or something. Is there anything I can do now? Or should I just leave it alone and not bother? Any advice is greatly appreciated! Thanks (: