[Rawrnerrooroo]

I am 23 and meet this guy a few years ago in collage. We dated for a couple years and really fell in love. But then he got lazy and started under appreciating me. (and we were young so he was afraid of how serious we were getting) so I moved back home to help with my family's burden of taking care of my sick grandma. Because of the distance we broke up. It was too hard to deal with. Then he dated this other girl for a year while I did some other things. But she completely broke his heart and used him. Now he is back saying he finally appreciates me and his feelings... However now we are moving to different sides of the world. (right now we are just 8 hours apart) He wants me to come visit and stay with him in a few weeks. However I am suspicious that he has more than one reasons for moving far away. There is also this girl he is friends with that is moving close to there too. (not the girl he dated, he has never dated this girl) What should I do. I have never loved anyone like I love him and I haven't since then either. Should I forget him or go visit him and see how it goes? Would I just be opening a box of heartache to take with me to Europe? Some insight would be greatly appreciated...

[Jake2008]

If you aren't sure, don't go.

My advise is to maintain a relationship with him over a period, after you have both moved. Not start with a two week visit right off the bat, but through email, text, phone calls, etc. After a period when you are more comfortable, arrange to meet him half way (if possible), for a weekend.

Better to take smaller steps over a longer period, to make sure you are completely comfortable, than to jump in with a bigger commitment, and have your heart broken.

[I wish]

Either decision is going to be tough. If you go, you might not find what you are looking for. But if you don't go, you might always wonder what if.

Here's a compromise. Why not guy an open ended ticket for the return trip. That way, you get to go to see if you have a future together, but at the same time, if things don't go well, you can leave any time, without committing so much time there.

The worst that can happen is that you end up breaking things up for good, but at least you will know for sure and won't have to continuously wonder "what if?"

[Devorameira]

Since you're really having doubts about it, I wouldn't jump right in and go there. Why not continue with a long term relationship and see where it goes from there?