[girlindoubt]

Can there be a happy relationship between 2 people, bf-gf, if there is no chemistry between them (or attraction on the girl's side)?
I've been dating these guy for about 2 years, I love him and we're great friends, but I don't think I was ever in love with him.. never felt the butterflies, the passion, the yearning for that someone special, the lust etc. I sometimes wonder what that would feel like, I never had it. The point is: how important is chemistry in a relationship? Can we stick together if we miss that? Is it all right to want it all? I really don't want to spoil what I have for something that might not even be that important.
Thank you for your thoughts on the subject and your opinions, it means a lot to me..

[Jake2008]

Sometimes, time and history create a great love story. There are no sparks, butterflies, trouble sleeping, eating, etc.

Not feeling those sparks, does not necessarily mean there isn't a great deal of substance between you, that will only grow with time.

What you may find is that to go looking for the sparks, and finding them, that they only last a short while. And when the reality of the relationship sets in with all its ups and downs, there isn't anything substantial after all.

Love, is the sustaining part, long after the initial attraction. That is the part that builds and grows with meaning and substance. If sparks were something that continued, we'd all implode.

[love2laughalot]

For me personally I think that chemistry is very important in a relationship especially you have been with this guy so long. The feeling of seeing fireworks when you kiss or getting butterflies in your stomach before a date is a great feeling to have. Maybe talk to him, see if he ever thought there was a chemistry between you two, if not maybe its time to find some that will give all those good feelings. But you can still be happy even without chemistry.

[Fr_Chuck]

The "chemistry' is often why we find the other, but over a few years or often by the 7th year, the passion is replaced by habit. What makes the difference is have you had communication and has the relationship grown from lust to love. All couples should ever few years get some level of counseling or couples weekends to help them find some spark back

[martinizing2]

Growing up in the sixties as I did gave chemistry a whole different meaning.

That aside... If you truly love someone that itself is a form of chemistry even if it lacks the passion and fire that is so often believed to be what love is,
And as Jake said , this so often kindles nothing more than a flash fire that leaves both parties... burned.

Love can most certainly succeed with being comfortable in the company of a person, and feeling good when they are around.
This could be all semantics in that many consider being friends as chemistry. So much depends on the definition you choose as to what chemistry is.

I believe that if you have love and friendship in a relationship , that it can go on forever,

Do what feels right for you , be honest , be yourself and you stand a great chance of a long happy relationship.

I wish you well.

[martinizing2]

Fr_Chuck finds this helpful : Chemistry, don't you watch the EHarmony commercials

Not at gunpoint!! Lol


EHarmony ' s opinion holds no sway for me.

[Cat1864]

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to martinizing2 again.

Martinizing said what I was thinking. Chemistry covers a broader range than Potassium Metal coming into contact with Di-hydrogen Monoxide.