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CCcorsa · Jan 7, 2011, 01:34 PM

Hi
I've bin with my fiancé for 4 years. I really love him but for the past year and a half I don't want sex. When he asks for it I always make up an excuse. I really don't know why I don't but its getting him so frustrated. Has anyone had the same problem or can anyone explain!!

Thanks

answerme_tender · Jan 7, 2011, 01:44 PM

Why don't you want to have sexual relations with your fiancé? I don't mean to asking personal questions, but if you can please explain why---Is is because its painful, or that you don't get any satisfaction,?

ironhide262 · Jan 7, 2011, 01:46 PM

Well, only you have the answer to why you don't want sex. He's right to be frustrated... he needs an explanation. You need to start communicating with him and hopefully he will support you in any way he can to deal with this problem.

Showing him that you understand there is a problem and you want to work toward fixing it will help him deal with his frustrations. He may think that there is something wrong with him.

CravenMorhead · Jan 7, 2011, 03:20 PM

First off, use complete words and sentences. You're an adult, if you type like a 14 year old then we are going to assume you are such and the thread will be deleted.

Okay the first gambit of questions:
1) What sort of birth control are you on? Hormonal? Depo? Barrier?
2) Are you stressed? Stress is well known for a lack of libido.
3) Are you still attracted to your fiancée?
4) Are you addicted to or abuse any narcotics? Smoking? Drugs? Alcohol?
5) Have you gotten a full medical exam?
6) Do you just not want to have sex with your fiancée or do you not want to have sex period? IE, do you still fantasize and urges but just not for him.

It is hard sometimes to know why a person libido disappears. Did it suddenly disappear or was it gradual?

Lastly. For the love of all that is fluffy in the world stop lying to your fiancée. Let him know that your libido is gone and you're taking steps to find it. Be honest with him and be honest with yourself. Communication will make all the difference.

martinizing2 · Jan 7, 2011, 10:09 PM

Without much information it is hard to try to give any kind of advice.

As Craven points out, we need to know more of what you are feeling .
Just stating that you don't want sex does not give the slightest clue
As to what the root of the problem is.

The more you can tell us enables us to be more help.

jenniepepsi · Jan 8, 2011, 04:30 PM

My only questions in addition to cravens, are...

How old are you exactly, as this will give us a better insight to your phsyical being and sexuality.

Have you ever been sexually abused, especially if you were a child during the abuse.

Please give us more details to go on here. What do YOU thnk is causing ths problem?

And keep in mind it is very common for a woman's sexual desires to be lower than her male partner.

Do you have children? Had any recently?