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holywaryer · Jan 4, 2011, 08:48 PM

I am 38 and she is 27. We work together and started just as co-workers. During that time she flirted pretty good with me and I did not pay too much attention to it. One day I did and asked her out. Now it seemed that from that day forward I lived in a twi-light zone episode... a bad dream that I could not wake up from. Every time I attempted to pull away due to how she was acting, she would try to pull me back in. Well recently I pulled away and stayed away, to give her space. Now this is tough when you work with her. Not sure how to keep this up.

What was so frustrating she wanted to always had the serious talk through text... not in person. And then in person it was different story. Talk about totally confusing a person. Well the other night I texted her based upon a comment that was made on Facebook. That was the first text in a few weeks or so. We actually had a decent chat. And now tomorrow I will be seeing her for the first time in a week. I told her I would still give her space at work.

I believe she is worth the wait... but also don't want to be played around with. How do I know for sure if she is into me or not? She mentioned she was not interested in me... but then gets so worked up if I get mad with her. If she did not care or was interested I would think she would not care what I did.

A simple man with a crazy moment in time.

lvgmng · Jan 5, 2011, 08:52 AM

It sounds as if she doesn't know what she wants and/or she can't be alone. If the latter part is true she will cling to you as the plan b. No one wants to be plan b. Be honest with her about your feelings and reservations. If only communicating through text bothers you... don't do it. Don't try to discuss anything at work, that is not the place. If a discussion is necessary to be able to continue working together then get it done outside of work.

I wish · Jan 5, 2011, 08:59 AM

If she's not willing to communicate with you in person, which is obviously the better means of communication, then there's little hope for the long term.

Though you may want to wait for her, I'm not convinced that she will be worth the wait and she doesn't appear compatible with you.

As for giving space, keep things professional between the two of you. Leave out anything unnecessary that would cause more confusion, such as small talk.

answerme_tender · Jan 5, 2011, 02:23 PM

Its time to heart to heart with your wife. For whatever reason she is stepping out from the marriage, even if its only emotional. That's how most serious affairs start, with emotional ties.

I agree with spouses having opposite sex friendships, but come on I wouldn't want my man going out with his woman friend to all these places, even to point of skipping work to have a day together, if he is going to be skipping work to be with someone, I hope it would be with ME!! You should have been having a conversation with her about this so called friendship when you notice how often she was texting him, no adult woman was to text a co-worker about what is happening in her PERSONEL LIFE all the time.

I would encourage you to seek some marriage counseling. Good luck