[Guilty_Girl]

I'm 30 yr old woman and I've never dated a guy before in person. I joined a matrimonial site and several guys requested my communication. Its online dating so I didn't meet nobody in person yet. Now I'm left with two online dates. Both are adorable. Adrian divorced his wife because they didn't agree. They've a teenage boy. Adrian shows lot of affection and promises. He says "I'm goin to spoil you rotten!" Such things are so impressive. Jonathan is a humble guy and he was divorced by his wife because he had a anxiety disorder then and things weren't going well between them. Jonathan still takes medication. He's equally so loving to me. I feel torn between the two. I've know the two only for about 2 months only through online. I'm afraid to tell one of them that I've to quit. I'm afraid especially for Jonathan with this anxiety thing. I'm afraid if I might break his heart. I feel unexplicably pained to confront one of them. Please help me. Advice me. Thank you.

[summer_girl]

I think anybody who does online dating has to expect that rejection is a possibility, so hopefully either of them will handle it if you choose somebody else to go forward with. You can only learn so much about a person online; I don't see why you would have to break communications with the second one if you want to meet the first one. Have the meeting and see how it goes, there is always time to tell the other one no when you have more information.

Mostly I think you have to decide to do this for yourself and not worry so much about others' reactions. Maybe some of this will become easier once you have dated in person. I hope you won't go too far with the guilt. It's just dating.

[adviceishere]

Hi, I too met my boyfriend of just over a year on a network site and he also has an anxiety disorder, I also have my own personal problems and I'm sure you do too, but without me sounding too "big headed" he tells me I'm his saviour, his father said I am the best thing that ever happened to him, it brings tears to my eyes when I think of that because being honest I haven't done anything except fall in love with him :)we were meant to meet because he's helped me so much too, if I was you I would go with the "shy" guy, anxiety is a very commmon disorder(I also have it but a different form to my bf) he has social anxiety which means he needs a lot of courage just to meet someone and for this guy to want to meet you in person, well you must have some kind of special effect on him already:) I will feel forever grateful that my boyfriend built up all that courage just to meet me and only me :)i hope I help make your decision :) good luck

[Wondergirl]

You have been doing this only TWO MONTHS!! Why do you have to "quit" with one of them? I'd meet each of them in a very public place for maybe lunch or coffee and dessert. You don't have to stop interacting with either of them while you're just getting to know them. That's what dating is -- going out with several (a lot of?) guys and finally, after lots of dates, narrowing it down to one or two whom you feel most compatible with. Even then, you don't have to be exclusive with only one, as long as you aren't leading either of them on by saying you love only him.

Jonathan might turn out to be the perfect guy for you, so don't give him up so easily. Maybe XYZ whom you haven't met online yet will be the perfect guy for you. You are at the early stages of this.

[kctiger]

Enjoy dating. Date as many people as possible. Dating is about having fun getting to know one another. There is no reason you need to make a choice. Save your feelings and love until someone proves they deserve it. No need to rush anything.

I do have other questions. I'm assuming you eventually meet the person you are "dating" in a face to face format, right? What country are you from?

Remember, don't give your heart to just anyone. Get experience dating and communicating with others. Relax and remember it's not your job to be someone you aren't just to "comfort" others.

[Guilty_Girl]

I'm from India. Yes I eventually meet the person I'm dating. The two men were planning to come to India to meet me. I feel that's not right of me to make both guys come all the way here. So I want to welcome only one guy to India. So hard for me!

[Wondergirl]

I feel that's not right of me to make both guys come all the way here.

If both wish to make the trip to India to meet you, let them do that. I'd fly there just for real, homemade samosas and mango chutney! Just don't schedule them for the same weekend. You cannot make a good decision about either of them at this point because you have not been with either in person, in real life. And I'm sure each will have a good time while they are in India.

[talaniman]

I would save my decisions until I knew them well enough to know for sure who was the best one for me. No need to rush into anything because online or not, its only dating, and enjoying getting to know someone. Just be careful.