[webdork]

I let her go out with her friends and sister on new years to a lesbian party. I have nothing against gay people whatever. I stay sober and take care of our kids, feed them bathe them and tuck them in, well I get a text this morning she made out with two girls and I feel possibly more. Yes most guys say yea your wife kissed women woot woot... Well I don't find it attractive and don't like it at all. I texted her back ***? And she responded back lol... Ok fine, how should I approach this? I'm kind of hurt and pretty angry as well. I have drank and went to parties many times, but never thought about experiencing something or someone else. What should I do?

[nicolegreen]

You should talk to her about it that always helps tell her how you feel.

[webdork]

Thanks should I wait until tomorrow or call her tonight? I have been cheated on several times and this brings back some old horrid feelings. I know when this happens(well in my cases) there is usually something more. Should I dig into it? God I feel so lost and like crap right now. Sorry guys, we have been married for almost 7 years and our relationship has been great for the most part. But wow I'm at a loss for word. Thanks for the help.

[Jake2008]

Your wife went out to a New Years party, without you, and made out with two people. Does it really matter that they were women? What if it had been two men.

Either way, it sounds totally inappropriate to me for a married woman to be making out with anybody except her husband.

No, I don't think you should call and talk to her now. You have been drinking, and she has likely been drinking, and nothing will be resolved until everybody sobers up.

[webdork]

No I am sober lets clear this up I was taking care of my two kiddo's tonight. My two awesome boys so no no no drinking for me.

And thank you Jake it appreciated VERY much my friend.

So she came home early and could see I was upset so she dug into it. And I told her simply I wasn't happy about her kissing two girls.

She said they came up on her and simply couldn't stop it, and nothing further happened. I call bs no matter how incredibly inebriated I have been I could always fend off on coming advances. She sees nothing wrong with what happened at all. I do. She even laughed about it a bit. So I am sleeping on the couch tonight. Have a great new years everyone and again thanks for the replies. I sincerely appreciate the guidance and answers.

I still want to know what I should do once she sobers up though.

[Kshae]

As a female who has had some experience on both sides of the line, I can't see why your wife see's nothing wrong with it, and I can also see why it its unacceptable on your part.

In general terms two girls kissing at a party its considered to be hot, awesome, blah blah blah. Now, alcohol is never an excuse, but lets face it we have all done things waking up going "OH CRUD!". Its very possible that this may turn out just like that. One thing I will say is, when you two do decide to talk about it, try and stay calm. She may be nervous or embarrassed, so then being yelled at or having to go on the defensive side will only result in getting nothing solved, peoples feeling even more hurt and no real disscusion will happen.

Now if this is something that happened and it was an experiment. Please voice your conserns and listen to hers.

I understand the whole "it doesnt matter what gender they were, she made out with two people" Now while the second part of that is true, the first is not. At least not by today's social standers. Two attravtice woman making out, is considered to be totally fine in a party siuation.

BUT your uhappy about it, so it doesn't matter what society thinks. It matters what you think, but also what your wife thinks. Don't jump the gun on this one and I'm sure you can get everything worked out. Like I said, we have all done something a little "sketchy" while drinking.

One more thing, best piece I ever got for an argument with your spouse. Don't use the words "you" or "i". Its passive aggressive and will immedialty put the other on the defense and half any further progress.

[joypulv]

What do you mean should you wait to text her? Why isn't she home with YOU and your children?? How many days is this party anyway?
Also, texting is no way to communicate anything except the most inane drivel IMO. Talk in person. Or at least over the phone.

[Kshae]

She was out for new years because he "let" her go out.

[talaniman]

I wouldn't do a darn thing except apologize for getting carried away by my own fears.

What do you think people do at a gay New Years party? The same as at a straight one, kiss somebody at the stroke of midnight. She probably freaked out herself, and text you about it.

So how do you go from a traditional stroke of midnight kiss, to making out, and probably more? What a stretch seems to me.

Hope you see that while you are sleeping on the couch.

[jsje2010]

:( First, I am so sorry to hear that. I would talk to her. You seem like a very loving husband and full of trust no way I would be at a lesbian party when I have a hudband and children at home. Tell her that your not mad, and that your just upset because kissing someone else isn't what married people do. Hopefully it all works out for you. Best of Luck!

[Fr_Chuck]

Cheating is cheating, when you are married you can not cheat with anyone male or female, ( unless you are in a open relationship)

I guess my real issue is why she is going out to parties, when she is married with kids at home.

It is time she stops acting like a single person. If you go out, do it together, get a baby sitter and go out, if not, do like 99 percent of married people do, have a small party at your home that is family friendly

[Kshae]

So because your married and have children a few nights a year to go out an get lose is wrong? Just because you do that, it doesn't mean your acting single. Sometimes you just need to shake off the ropes. Just because your married does not mean that you give up anything you had before you were married, you simply have to go about it a different way. And the whole "with kids at home" I'm seeing reapted, so when babies are born your dead basically?

Let me ask something, you said you "let" her go to a LESBIAN party, on New Years, with alcohol. Did the thought someone might try something with her honestly never cross your mind?

[joypulv]

I mean why isn't she home YET.