[bane007]

Hello all, this is my first question and Google led me to this site.

My ex ish (I don't know what I call her) and I dated for 6 months. She is 23 and I am 21. She has 2 kids (3 and 5) & lives on her own. We both love each other I don't drive and she drives. We work together in the same department at a retail store. We went on break because she says she doesn't have the time she want to give me aka she doesn't have time to date. I totally understand that. We are still friends and get along great. We don't text as much anymore at all. Other than that its great. We both still say we still love each other.I told her I am going to wait for her and give her all the time she needs. She said awwww with a smile and gave me a hug and kiss.

Now onto the situation. At work, there is this guy I introduced to a co worker a few months ago causing a problem. When the break up/when we went on break happened, neither my ex girlfriend ish or myself didn't act correct at work at this guy noticed. I showed him a text between us and he said he figured we were close. This was in early December. Since then, he has been around her a lot. He comes around so much he isn't doing all of his work (my co workers told me this). When we (my ex girlfriend & I) are working, he seems to always appear to talk to just her. Each day we work together, he was with her more and more. After we both didn't work xmas eve or day, we both worked the day after xmas together. I come into work to shop and I see this co worker on the sales floor (where she works and I work in the backroom area but for her specific area) talking to her while she works in street clothes. I say hey and shop before work. An hour later while in the backroom area working with her, he gets someone to come and talk to her. After this, she opens up and tells me its kind of weird he is around her so much. I then tell her I have noticed this since we broke up. I told her it was weird he is always around her so much not doing work. I told me might be trying to get together with you. She said that wast going to happen. So 1 1/2 hours goes by, I am on the floor checking to see what milk I need to get pulled and he appears again. He asks me "whats up" and I tell him "i am working." He then says "I am shopping and i forgot my wallet at home" and asks "where she is" and I said in the back area. I finish up and I see in near the door to our back area. I tell my ex girlfriend and she gets something. He approached her and told her he has feelings for her. She told him not while I am working and walked away. She then goes to our security guy and he tells her that he "supposidy" going for other girls as well as her. She then returns and tells me what I just said. So another hour goes by and I go on break. As I am returning from our breakroom, I see him sitting on a bench in out employee area. I return to tell her. When she returns, she tells me he said he needs to really talk to her. She told him again not while I am working.

Now, I told her to go to our human resources manager and tell them what he has been doing. Also, this guy knew we broke up and was still attempting to get with her when she was with me, the guy who introduced them.

Now my questions

1: How should I interact with this guy?

2: How do I ask my ex girlfriend about the situation without upsetting her?

[ITstudent2006]

Do you work at Target? (curious)

It sounds like a lot of childish games. First off you guys aren't dating so let your ex manage her own life. You don't need to be running back and forth telling her this and him that. Let it go.

You told her you would wait so wait. Continue living your life and stop interefering with hers. If you trust her when she says it won't happen then let it be. Don't worry about this other guy.

You're making too much work for yourself trying to keep everything in line. It's not your place. Let HR take care of this guy if there's an issue and let your ex manage her own life.

Good Luck. (I wasn't being rude, just opinionated)

[brigde]

Tell her how you feel tell her to be honest and tell her you love her... and if it won't tell her what she needs to know tewll her GOODBYE

[bane007]

I do work at target. I know I worry about things in life way too much and I do need to work on it. If I get those worrisome thoughts, I will do something to keep my mind busy.

How am I interfering in her life? (Cause I think I am obvious to this)

[ITstudent2006]

I do work at target. I know i worry about things in life way too much and i do need to work on it. If i get those worrisome thoughts, i will do something to keep my mind busy.

How am I interfering in her life? (Cause i think i am obvious to this)

Isn't it creepy I knew you worked at Target ;)

You are interfering by running back and forth with her. Continually being with her on every chance you get. Is this bad? Some would say no, but I think that beings she doesn't have time to date, you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak. You can still wait for her to be ready and still hang out but by the way you wrote it sounds like every second of free-time was spent talkng to her. I think in order for this to work you need to give her some time and some space to get things set, get things in order. Can you still talk to her? Sure you can but she told you she didn't have time to date but the way you guys are acting you guys seem like you're still dating or involved.

However, this is my opinion.

[bane007]

It kind of is creepy lol

This happened in one day. I should have mentioned this first. But I did notice her with the guy because I happen to work with her & he was over all the time. I am around her at work cause I have to in order to our work done.

[bane007]

I understand I need to trust her & let her live her life. I also need to give her some space as you said. Thanks for all your advice.

[ITstudent2006]

I used to work at Target so when you desribed your work day I knew where you worked.

Your last past is exactly what you need to do. I am not saying don't contact her or be friends but give her the space/time needed to decide if a relationship can happen. Don't worry about this other guy, trust her when she says it won't happen.

p.s. Do they still have them huge PDA's? Or have the upgraded to the small ones?

[bane007]

They still have both actually. The price change, gstls, and lod uses the small ones while everyone else everyone else uses the huge ones.

One more question, this is only my 2nd relationship, what are the rules with texting her as she is a texter?

[ITstudent2006]

Like I stated before. Contacting her is fine but realize that she needs time/space to determine if a relationship can happen. Right now she says no but wants to remain friends. Honor her wishes and don't overwhelm her. Forcing a relationship is not what you want to do.

P.S. hmm When I worked there as an Electronics TM I got to use the little one all the time ;) Random Q, but what's your store number. (perhaps this world is smaller then we think)

[bane007]

I am going to give her the time and space she needs. It will be hard on my part cause I am still adjusting to her not contacting me all the time.

All as will say is my store is in northern va

[ITstudent2006]

Not even close to my previous store.

[bane007]

Well I don't know if you know this but a lot of regular targets have or are going to add fresh produce to their stores. My store just when through a remodel for this addition of fresh produce

[ITstudent2006]

My previous store is attached to a mall so this isn't going to happen there.

[bane007]

Funny thing is, my store is attached to a mall and we went under the change so you never know

[ITstudent2006]

I would be surprised. This mall is jam packed in the middle of downtown and room would be difficult to find. You could be right though, who knows!