[bobthebuilder1]

Moved to its own thread

Over 7 years of being together. 5 of which we have lived together. It has been great and she says she loves her life with me but she thinks there is somerthing missing. And that when she hugs me she should feel a "I love you so much" feeling. She doesn't feel that.
This came up 3 years ago and we put it down to her having some serious issues over not seeing her dad anymore and a void in her heart. She says Ive been more like a Dad to her and that's not enough anymore.
We have a 2 year old. We have decided to split up, but she is scared as she doesn't know if what she is looking for can be found as she knows we have so much together, and our relationship is so good.
I know it sounds crazy but its always been so good, and we respect one another etc. She says she desperately wants us to be together and it all to be fine but she doesn't think its fair to me that I love her more and that she is fighting with it all the time.

I don't know what to do.

[talaniman]

You be a great father from afar, while she finds herself, and don't act like a couple, focus on your child, and build a life without her. Eventually she will find herself without your influence, for better or worse.

Sorry guy but you can't fix this, she has to make up her mind, and you have to let her, and adjust to the changes because, the relationship is no longer a priority, the child is.

The only thing to iron out is your time with your child, and working together for the benefit of the child, both financial, and emotional. That's it!! The rest will work itself out, eventually.

[bobthebuilder1]

What if she decides she wants to stay together?

[talaniman]

She will let you know, and what if she doesn't want to stay together??

Plan for the worst, hope for the best, and do your own thing, REGARDLESS what she does.

[Jake2008]

She should know without a doubt, whether she's in, or out.

If she wanted to work on her relationship, she would be suggesting marriage counselling. If she has issues affecting her life with you, that don't include you (ie her father), she could also take steps to resolve those issues. She seems to be throwing the baby out with the bathwater so to speak.

Why is it all or nothing, and why doesn't she have some idea what is wrong. On the other hand, if what is keeping her there is security and familiarity and comfort, then perhaps she's just one of those women who have to learn that the 'something missing' is going to be a rude awakening the moment she's on her own.

[bobthebuilder1]

Seems it's going to happen. She says lastnight she is willing to go through with the split. Seems determined, no tears from her, more than can be said on my part. Im dealing w/ a lot, doesn't love me and I'm going to miss my daughter.