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resa31802 · Dec 11, 2010, 03:32 PM

My fiancée are getting married next week. We're having a small wedding, just parents and siblings. We are also have a lunch to celebrate with our close friends the next day. My parents are paying for the lunch, and I want to make sure that our guests understand that's all their paying for... lunch and a drink. How do I tell them this without sound tacky?

DoulaLC · Dec 11, 2010, 03:54 PM

What other expenses might they incur? Have invitations already gone out or was this a verbal invitation?

resa31802 · Dec 11, 2010, 04:00 PM

Appetizers, Desserts, alcoholic beverages...

Its an evite. You can add notes and reminders, but I want to make sure my wording doesn't offend.

DoulaLC · Dec 11, 2010, 04:17 PM

Since these are close friends, it will make it easier. You might state something to the effect that we would be honored to have you join us for a luncheon to celebrate our wedding. Your choice of lunch entrées and a drink will be served. In addition, appetizers, desserts, and alcoholic beverages will be available for purchase if you so desire.

If there is a set menu for lunch being provided, such as a choice of either chicken or beef, state that instead.

resa31802 · Dec 12, 2010, 11:14 AM

This sounds great. Thanks.

dontknownuthin · Dec 16, 2010, 12:33 PM

Have a fixed menu and limit choices with a card at each place. You can give everyone a little golf pencil to check off their preferences of beer or wine, soup or salad, beef or chicken, cake or ice cream, tea or coffee... then the servers simply serve the meal.

The guests will see this isn't like a regular visit to a restaurant where you order whatever you want - it's an event where you take what you're offered. Unless they are social clods, they'll get the picture.

Then, when the meal is done, get up from the table and thank everyone for coming and that will end the spending!

Enjoy your celebration - you are very smart to control costs, and just doing a lunch will itself limit the drinking.

kevlo · Dec 28, 2010, 06:26 AM

Have the waiter bring the check after everyone has finished their meals, then invite the guest to the bar/somewhere else to celebrate further. If they are friends, they shouldn't be there for a free cocktail, but to celebrate and show their support for you. Congrats!