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m101485 · Dec 27, 2010, 09:24 PM

She told me she loves me but not in love with me. Been together for 2 1/2 yrs and have a 12mo old son. She wants to try a break to see if that helps. I don't think it will but what can I do. So we are on a break now and still living together. It sucks. What should I do?

Wondergirl · Dec 27, 2010, 09:29 PM

People in love and with a child do not take "breaks." (Pssst... breaks only cause a break-up. Very rarely do they improve a relationship.) Instead of taking a break, the couple works together to solve their emotional problems. Have the two of you seen a counselor? (Another pssst... after the first year or so of exciting passion, most couples find things get toned down as they come up for air and back into normal life. Her hormones after having a baby have also changed her.)

m101485 · Dec 27, 2010, 09:34 PM

She doesn't want to. She told me that she not in love with me. She's not happy. I'm just thinking of my son. I don't want to put him thur this.

Wondergirl · Dec 27, 2010, 09:36 PM

Why doesn't she want to? That's part of the deal from having your child. She owes you that courtesy as your partner.

How old are the two of you? What about family support?

m101485 · Dec 27, 2010, 09:39 PM

I don't know. It could be someone else she's not telling me about. She's only thinking about her self.

I'm 25 and she's 23. Her mom is not really talking to her. My parents tell me to go get my own place and move on.

Wondergirl · Dec 27, 2010, 09:46 PM

Is she being a good mother?

If you leave, who supports them? Or is that why she is allowing you to live there, for financial support?

m101485 · Dec 28, 2010, 07:59 AM

She really doesn't see him much. And when she does have him she gos out when he's in bed.

talaniman · Dec 28, 2010, 08:01 AM

Pack your stuff and leave right now, and wait 2 weeks and then set up child support for your son. A 1 year old you can still see him, and be a good dad, but until she gets her head on straight, and figures herself out, then you have no relationship, and in the long run that harms your son even more.

That's why you get away from her, and give her time, and space to deal with her own brick wall. I know you want to fix things, but take a two week vacation first, so you both can think of other things besides resenting each other. A solution comes from a relaxed mind!