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momoftriplea · Dec 27, 2010, 02:37 PM

My ex and his wife have moved to another state with my 18 year old special needs daughter. I haven't seen her nor spoke with her in several months (her father and spouse refuse to allow me contact). Can his wife legally adopt her w/out my knowledge?

ITstudent2006 · Dec 27, 2010, 02:52 PM

Others will correct me if I am wrong but...

Only some states allow the adoption of an 18yr old because they are legally an adult. Where do they live?

Do you have any custodial rights to your child?

Is this somethng that they have said they are doing or would like to do or is this just a simple question? A what-if type of question?

momoftriplea · Dec 27, 2010, 03:04 PM

They live in Florida. He had temp custody until she turned 18 (he had her since she was 16). It is a "I have the feeling it's going to happen" type question.

jenniepepsi · Dec 27, 2010, 06:00 PM

What are your daughters special needs? Is she legally competent? If she is incompetent, her father most likely still has custody. But if you still have some rights to your daughter, you need to be in agreement to any adoption before it can happen. Or, if you have no legal rights to your daughter, he is considered the sole custodian parent and has every right legally to do whatever he wants without your permission
(someone correct anything that may be wrong, I am only going off MY experience here)

ScottGem · Dec 27, 2010, 06:25 PM

If she is over 18 and legally competent then she does not need anyone's approval except the person wanting to adopt. If she is not competent then her legal parents both have to approve.

Why haven't you seen your daughter? Did they have permission to move?

Oh and please don't use the Comments feature for followups, use the Answer options instead.

momoftriplea · Dec 28, 2010, 04:10 PM

He will not let me see her. No, she is not competent enough to make that decision. I did not have the means to acquire an attorney so, he pretty much was able to do what he wanted. No, I didn't agree with it. Where do I go to

Post it on the answers section? When I hit the "answer" all it does is send me to another page and I can't get back.

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Synnen · Dec 28, 2010, 05:33 PM

I'm not quite sure what you are looking for here.

First, you're upset that you have to pay child support on the child (see here https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...do-538036.html) Then you're upset that someone else is willing to take parental rights and therefore parental responsibility?

Or are you just wanting all of the rights of being a parent with none of the responsibilities? You want to still be mommy, but not pay child support?

ScottGem · Dec 28, 2010, 06:51 PM

Not Answer at the top, but the Answer options at the bottom, like the Quick Post.

If there was court ordered visitation where you were and he just up and moved without your permission and the courts, then he's in violation of the court order. You go to the court that issued the order and ask that he be found in contempt and ordered to return your daughter or move back.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 28, 2010, 09:00 PM

State laws vary on this, but in general, if they claim they can't find you or don't know where you are at ( lie) they can do an adoption. Also if she is 18 and the court believes she is aware of what is happening, she may be allowed to decide.

So can it happen, yes, could it happen in a couple months, no, it would take more than two months even to get to the first hearing

momoftriplea · Dec 29, 2010, 03:57 PM

Synnen, I'm gladly paying the CS. And YES, I want to continue to "play" mom as I have been for the past 16 years of her life. I AM a responsible parent. Unlike those who don't want ANYTHING to do with their child physically or monitary wise. I miss my daughter very much. He took off to Florida with her and refuses to allow me OR her 20 year old sister to see her, talk to her, or even write her so yea, I am a little angry about THAT. The only problem I have is he wants to increase it now and I have two other kids to raise. He just had his third WITH THE CURRENT WIFE. I feel like I am paying for THEIR expenses and not my daughters. He just had another child and just by chance wants to increase the child support NOW.

momoftriplea · Dec 29, 2010, 03:59 PM

Thanks Scott, I found it. I was on the wrong page so I couldn't find it.

GV70 · Dec 30, 2010, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by ITstudent2006

Others will correct me if I am wrong but...

Only some states allow the adoption of an 18yr old because they are legally an adult. Where do they live?

Only some 50 states;)

GV70 · Dec 30, 2010, 04:56 PM

63.042. Who may be adopted; who may adopt.

(1) Any person, a minor or an adult, may be adopted.

63.062. Persons required to consent to adoption.

(5) A petition to adopt an adult may be granted if:

(a) Written consent to adoption has been executed by the adult and the adult's spouse, if any.

(b) Written consent to adoption has been executed by the birth parents, if any, or proof of service of process has been filed, showing notice has been served on the parents as provided in this section.

63.072. Persons whose consent to an adoption may be waived.

(5) The spouse of the person to be adopted, if the failure of the spouse to consent to the adoption is excused by reason of prolonged, unexplained absence, unavailability, incapacity, or circumstances that are found by the court to constitute unreasonable withholding of consent.

joemellie · Nov 25, 2011, 12:46 PM

Dear momoftriplea I just wanted to let you know I feel for you and any parent that does not allow the other parent to even speak to their child is just plain evil and does not the child's best interest at heart. I am in a situation where "i feel something is about to happen" about adopting my child so I understand your concerns. I don't have any answers but I do give you my full support in wanting to be an active parent in your daughters life. Good luck to you.