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jsje2010 · Dec 24, 2010, 05:13 PM

My husband has a son with a girl who is refusing to let him have any rights. We opened up a case with the AG and got a DNA test since she was saying he was not the father every other week. Test came back his and he pays child support and is supposed to get vistations. However, every time we go to drive the 3 hours to get him she claims she doesn't live at that address and wants us to drive even further. When we go to she won't give us an address or telephone number the only way we can get in contact with her is through myspace. My husband wants to get custody because she is unstable moving around all the time from what she says, not giving us an address, relies on her father to support their child, and is dating a new guy every time you turn around who does drugs. Right now my husband is trying to find a better job so we can get our own place, and we are exspecting a child together. What do you think our chances are of getting custody, and were do we start?

Wondergirl · Dec 24, 2010, 05:20 PM

Keep a journal, with dates and times, of all that goes on, her moves, etc.

jsje2010 · Dec 24, 2010, 05:25 PM

:) thanks.. I do I copy and paste everything she was saying. I even have it documented on my computer were she told me to take asprin while pregnant even though asprin causes miscarriages..

ScottGem · Dec 24, 2010, 05:27 PM

File a contempt of court action against her for not allowing the court ordered visitation.

Once this has been issued then file for primary custody.

jsje2010 · Dec 24, 2010, 05:29 PM

Do you think we have a chance of getting him.. my husband hasn't seen his son since he was 4 months old and he is now 13 months.

Wondergirl · Dec 24, 2010, 05:49 PM

If she's as unstable a mother as you claim, and, if you can prove it, yes, you have a good chance.

jsje2010 · Dec 24, 2010, 05:51 PM

:( she is which is sad, and her "friend" messaged my husband a couple months ago after the dna test telling him to try to get custody. Which we really want to adviod since we did not want to uproot him just for no reason. Her friend is now telling us that she is using the baby as a pawn and nothing else only to hurt him. She is mentally unstable, and emotionally unstable.

Wondergirl · Dec 24, 2010, 05:56 PM

He's still very young. Better to uproot him now, rather than later when she's a total mess and he'll hold it against you. Would she allow you to adopt him? That's what you might want to aim for (or do you?).

jsje2010 · Dec 24, 2010, 06:00 PM

I agree it is better to uproot him now, but it was my husband choice and I supported him in letter her keep custody. No she does not want to let me have nothing to do with the child nor my child to see his brother. She wants my husband to sign over

His rights, and wants her "druggie" boyfriend to be the babies daddy. She even has the child calling the guy daddy. I would love to adopt him I love him even though I have never been in his life since he is part of my husband and my son.

Adopting him would be the last thing I want to do since I believe it is important for both parents to be in the child's life, but I know she would turn the child against my husband and me since she already says he hates me and will hate me

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ScottGem · Dec 24, 2010, 07:11 PM

Please don't use the Comments feature for follow-up. Use the Answer options instead. As you can see the comments are limited.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 24, 2010, 07:16 PM

Custody is sometimes hard to change, and some judges out there are still stuck in the 1950's mind set of mother keeping the child.

You also need to go thought he court for her to be in contempt of court for not allowing visits. Perhaps get visit exchange to be done at a specific location, such as a police station where it can be documented that she did not show up.

Be sure have to both options available, so that you will have a plan in place