[Twinks2388]

Hey,

So a friend of mine is in the army. We met the night before he went back to his base in another province and we had an amazing time ( didn't hook up though). He messaged me about a month ago saying he was coming home and was wondering if I would like to do dinner. Anyway long story short he has come home, we have gotten pretty intoxicated and hooked up and then yesterday we hooked up him drunk me sober. I don't really know what to think.. His friends didn't know who I was when they met me which is fine. When I met up with the guy he was already drunk.. ( he went out with friends while I was working but stopped by the bar I work at to visit for a bit before they began their night). After I met up with him he told me he thinks about me a lot, wishes he could stay here and just date me but would like to fly me out to where he is living for a bit and wants to show me around the base and everything before he goes back on tour. Always tells me I'm amazing and so on. Last night he said he didn't want to hook up because he actually likes me and doesn't want to ruin anything. The other day he said he wasn't looking for a girlfriend before he went on tour because of well horror stories he told me with his friends gfs being left with babies and so on after his friends were killed in combat. Anyway, I want to know if he sounds interested or just using me up while he is home before he goes back to base next month. He told me on the phone he has never laughed so much with a girl or had so much fun, that in amazing, beautiful and so on. He wants to hang out tonight and told me last night he wants to introduce me to all of his friends.. But today when his mom gave him a call he said 'we had a huge party last night' don't know if she knows about me. Thank you in advance :)

[Alty]

The only way to really know what's on his mind is to ask him.

It sounds like he's interested, but who knows, it could have been the alcohol talking.

Talk to him if you're interested. The best source of info is him. :)

[Twinks2388]

The only thing confusing me mainly is these nights happen we have plans to go to dinner the next day and he has cancelled both times saying he is too hungover and would like to hang out with me without alcohol. Completely sober and go to dinner or something.

[talaniman]

Its really to early to tell and I would be very, very cautious of someone who cancels plans because he is hung over. Naw, keep your eyes open on this guy because, you really have no clue to his true character, only that you like him, and have fun. Much to soon to let him play with your marbles my dear, so be careful.

Heck, if party boy can't even have a proper date, why even listen to his drunken rap??

[Twinks2388]

Hey,

Long story short I hooked up (twice) with a friend of mine who is only here on vacation from the army. He told me before the second time happened he didn't want to ruin it, he actually likes me and we shouldn't but it happened. (I don't know if likes me means as a person or likes likes.) The next day he cancelled our plans because he was hungover and said maybe we could do dinner before my shift the following night if he didn't go visit family -- no phone call, nothing. He also said we should just hang out sober one of these times. We have talked about going out for NYE sober and intoxicated I don't know if that's going to happen? I'm wondering if it's possible to just say I want to be friends.. because I do appreciate him as a person and I would rather he didn't fade away into the background because things got awkward. How do you tell someone that / when is the best time? It's out of my character to do this kind of thing which is why it's bothering me even more and I've never had to say this to someone so if you have any ideas please let me know. Thanks :)

[talaniman]

You are trying to keep someone in your life that has his own very serious issues to deal with, and what kind of fun can that be? No telling when he will be sober, or serious.

Actions speak louder than words, so stop hooking up, or being so available until he can be a proper friend. Just keep him at a safe distance, and make other plans, and save yourself some drama and heart ache. Friends come and go through out our lives for a variety of reasons. Don't stop doing your thing because he is a shaky Jake kind of fellow, and don't try so hard to hold onto something that may not be the best thing for you.

Make some better plans for New Years Eve, and have fun, whether he is drunk or sober, probably drunk. You have plenty of time to be friends when he gets sober long enough to be a real friend, so a word of to the wise hard to be friends with a drunk, and foolish to count on them for anything, and even worse to believe what comes out of his mouth when he is drunk. I say this so you can avoid learning a terrible lesson the hard way.

Now get busy with family, and friends and enjoy the season.