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hunnuh17 · Dec 21, 2010, 04:15 PM

Ok, So I have had a missed period, I have gotten this sick feeling like It even made me wake up & everything, but I have not puked or anything. I've also have gotten a few headachs & some cramping here & there. I still have not had my period, & for some reason I feel full constantly & my boobs are super sore when I touch them. Does it sound to you that I could be? I am going to buy a test as soon as I can without my mom knowing. I am sixteen about to be seventeen.

DoulaLC · Dec 21, 2010, 05:07 PM

If you have been having sex, then pregnancy is going to be a possibility. In particular, since you are a teen, it is not uncommon to have irregular cycles sometimes, so perhaps that is what is going on. Obviously the only way to know will be to take the test as soon as you are able to.

In regard to your other post, if it turns out that you are pregnant, maybe write it down in a letter and let your mom know that you have something to share with her. Then hand her the letter as you sit by her side. If you have the sort of relationship where you can discuss it in person, all the better.

No doubt, whether you tell her in person or in a letter, she will be surprised, upset, and disappointed, but odds are she will come around. Her feelings will be more from being worried about you, how you will handle things, how it will change any plans for your future, etc.. Parents always have dreams for their children, and having a baby as a teen usually isn't one of them, but most parents will become the biggest supporter. That is what parents do, love unconditionally.

First things first, get a test and see what results you get. If you are pregnant, you will have some decisions to make and the earlier you decide what you are going to do the better. If keeping the baby yourself is your choice, start taking a prenatal vitamin or multivitamin with at least 400 mg of folic acid and make any lifestyle changes you might need to that you know would be healthy.

If you aren't pregnant, consider not having sex until you are in a better position to be able to handle the possible consequences. At the very least, if you decide to continue, use birth control always and correctly to decrease the odds of an unwanted pregnancy, but remember, pregnancy will still be a possibility.

Do come back and let us know if there are any questions or concerns that we can help with.

hunnuh17 · Jan 3, 2011, 12:35 PM

I am pregnant

redhed35 · Jan 3, 2011, 01:24 PM

Have you spoken to your mother or another adult since doulaLC posted?

If not my advice is to talk too someone soon,and go through your options,which are, keep the baby,adoption and abortion, all three options need to be carefully discussed and researched so you can make an informed decision.

hunnuh17 · Jan 5, 2011, 12:34 AM

I am scared to tell her, but I am thinnkn about keeping the baby & getting my life together by getting a job & going to college & what not. But anyway I am going to write my mom a note & let her know. That way I can get all my words out before she starts yelling at me. && the baby daddy won't be there for me, he is telling me that I am not ready , I'm young, & how he don't want another kid, ( cause he has another kid with his ex) but anyway he don't even see his daughter.. its sad. & he told me that he wants me to get an abortion , & he threatned to tell my mom that I am pregnant. & he is acting like this is alll my fault when really its also his.. you know? I personally think since he's not going to be there for me that he has no say so, so he should quit judging. & that I should be able to keep MY kid if I want. I mean like I said he's not going to be there so he should just leave me alone & stay out of the business . Let me know what you think or anyone else. Honest oppionions, idc if mean or nice, I need to know. Please & thanks.

DoulaLC · Jan 5, 2011, 04:58 AM

It's sad, but it happens far too often. A girl gets pregnant, the guy gets scared and doesn't want a child, sometimes he pressures her into having an abortion, and/or he doesn't stick around. They are very willing to "play", but not to "pay" for the consequences. He may come around later on, but his past doesn't suggest that since he does not even see his first child. You might give him the opportunity to step up if he decides later that he made a mistake and wants to be involved and help you.

How involved you want him to be is up to you. If he continues to place blame, pressure you, and be immature about it, might be best to keep him at a distance. You don't need the stress, especially during pregnancy. Unfortunately, chances are he won't stick around. He will, however, be partly responsible financially when your baby is born. I don't know if he pays any child support for his first child, but that is something he would be expected to do whether he wants to or not. Again, it would be up to you whether you pursue that or not if you end up not being together.

Your mom will be disappointed, she may get angry and yell, but odds are she will become your biggest source of support and that is what you need right now. Tell her yourself before she hears about it from anyone else.

Acknowledge that you messed up, you know a baby right now was not in the plans, but you intend to step up and handle the situation maturely. You are going to finish your education, and you plan to raise your child well, but that you also realize you will need her help and guidance.

hunnuh17 · Jan 6, 2011, 05:33 AM

Thanks that was very helpful (: yess, I am giong to tell her today. ( my mom) && I wasn't giong to even tell my ex, (his names joe) cause I figured he wasn't even going to be there, cause he had moved away. We were more like best friends. I am not hurt or anything with me & him not being together.. But I would love for him to step up & be there for me, if he doesn't than oh well. I will just do it on my own, you know? && he doesn't pay for his first kids child support. But its cause he doesn't have a job. But I guess he's got one & he's going to now? I have no clue. But anyway I found out last night actually that he wants to see his daughter lana but her mom won't let him see her. && there is no way for him to contact with her. I don't know if its just a lie. But that's what he told me. He told me that lana is all he ever wanted & that he didn't want anymore kids, so I know that he won't be there for me. Which like I said its OK. && I will live you know? Its not the end of the world ill just tell my little one when its born that god blessed me with (the baby) it & I get to play daddys part to if it asked why it doesn't have a dad . Lol. If that makes since.