[blackberrygal]

This is my second marriage, and we have been married 2 years. I lived in my husbands house the first 2 years. I was not allowed to move things and nothing in the house was mine. He told me to put my things in storage. The only thing in the house was my clothes. I at the time still owned my home.

My husband has 3 small kids and my kids are all grown. I cannot even fix a meal without him checking on what I cook, or in the kitchen doing things with the notion he is only helping me. When we were at his house, everything had to be done his way. You could not ask him a question or he got all defensive about it was not his house and he was not spending any money on it. If I did ask, I was quickly quieted or it was a fight.

We finally moved to my house 3 months ago, now suddenly he has every right to do what he wants and he is constantly demanding me to do things. He has a list of things he doesn't like about our home... or my house and is determined to fix them. If I say anything it is a fight again. If I refer back to how I had to live by his rules, he says he is not living in the past... and that is all null and void, but he can sure tell me what he is going to do in my house.

If you do not agree with him or cater to his wants then he will needle you into a verbal fight, but lately he has started grabbing me, pinning me down and getting in my face and daring me to hit him. I have just about had all I can stand. I am a very independent person, and was easy going but he has definitely brought out the worst in me lately. I cannot even shop with him, he is constantly in my face, dictating where we need to go, what we need to buy... it is a nightmare.

I have told him he is controlling and a dictator... and I think he is! He tries to beat me down and I hate my life.

[ITstudent2006]

You are correct! He sounds like a controlling dictator. I think you need to get out or at least create some space for awhile before things get worse.As I see it things are getting progressively worse and it's only a matter of time before it escalates to a situation that can hurt you.

Are the children present when this happens?

[DoulaLC]

I am wondering why you put a question mark in your subject... "an abusive husband?" There is no question about it, he is abusive, both physically and emotionally.

This has been going on for two years, it isn't going to change, and as IT said, it is escalating to an ever greater dangerous level. Do any of the children suffer the same sort of treatment?

If you tried to discuss how you feel, would he get angry with you and turn it back on you? If you tried to bring up the idea of seeing a marriage counselor, would that likely cause a fight?

If you feel both of those situations would not turn out well, or be advantageous, it is time to get out. If you have any concern at all for your well being if you tried to take your belongings and leave, let the police know and get an escort if necessary.