[evren]

Our daughter has 3 young children & we have always had a difficult relationship with her since she has been married & has before threatened not to let us see the grandchildren, we have tried to keep on her side (basically treading on eggshells) so as not to upset the apple-cart so to speak, we decided to move to Turkey just over 3 years ago, she has never been happy about it as our other daughter lives here , although we have said she can come here for a holiday & we have taken trips to UK, she has now said she no longer wants anything to do with us as she thinks we are selfish for moving, basically because we have a 31 yr old son who has a mental condition, he is able to live on his own & has regular visits from social workers who we keep in touch with, he has no problems with our move & he also comes for holidays, but it is upsetting us as we can't see our grandchildren & don't know how to handle the situation as she cuts our calls off, so we feel we are getting nowhere.

[Devorameira]

Sounds like she's jealous of her sister. Have you considered that she just really wanted to have you close at hand?

If the UK was your home country and you moved intentionally to be closer to the other daughter, I can see why she's feeling deserted, as it would feel like you deserted her.

Can she even afford to fly the family all the way to Turkey for a once a year visit?

[answerme_tender]

I agree with Devorameira, sounds like this daughter is jealous. It may appear that you have chosen one child over another. I know that she maybe grown, but jealousy doesn't have an age limit.

She may of felt like this most of her life, that her other siblings were shown more attention.

I think trying to fly the entire family to your home in Turkey is a great idea, if you cannot, then I would at least offer to fly your daughter out to visit you, so you can have some one on one time with her.

[dontknownuthin]

I would try to be understanding if my parents moved. However, I would also think it selfish if I had a disabled adult sibling, with good care or not, and I was the only relative left nearby. My grandmother was in a full-time nursing facility but our family had to be there nearly every single day to see that her needs were being met and she was not being abused nor taken advantage of. Your mistaken to think you can hire someone in replacement for family responsibility to your son.

I personally don't think you should have left your son behind, and it put a big burden on your daughter if I'm reading your post correctly. Also, you left one dauhter and her family to be nearer the other, which is hurtful as well. I think you are responsible for these hurt feelings.

I'm not sure how to fix it but to undo the damage - figure out how you are going to provide the family support your son requires without dumping it on your daughter, and how you are going to show your daughter that she and her family have equal importance as her sister. You probably should have talked more with your daughter and worked out the issues before you moved. She should understand your reasons for moving, but it sounds like she has good reason for being upset, too.