[imsurroundedbyfish]

I have a friend who is only 14 years old, and she's been telling me that she's been having these desires to have a baby. She has been in a relationship for just under 3 months now, and they both love each other very much.

But to have a baby would be illegal... what do I say to her? Is this desire just part of growing up?

[Enigma1999]

Tell her she is just a baby herself.

At 14, she should be focusing on school, friends, and family. Being a kid.

How is she supposed to support this baby? What does she plan on doing about a job? Does she expect her parents to raise this baby, because that's what will end up happening.

I'm 33 and have 2 kids, with a home, college education, pretty good job, and there are times when I struggle. Along with most Americans today...

Tell her to get a puppy.

[Fr_Chuck]

First sorry at 14 she has a crush, she is in "heat" and she feels it is "love" She will be most likely in and out of love a dozen times in the next several years.

At 14 it will only ruin her life, her boyfriend will be in jail or take off after finding all the duties he has to do as a father.

[Wondergirl]

Yes, it's part of growing up. At that age, I spent my time as a tomboy climbing trees with my brother and, on the other side of the coin, mothering the local farm cats and the two domestic mice my parents bought me from a pet store.

And yes, 14 is much too young to become a mother. Babies cost tons of money, cry when you want to sleep, get sick and aren't old enough to be able to tell you what's wrong, need tons of diapers and clothes and equipment. If a female isn't finished with school, doesn't live in her own place, and have a good enough job to support herself, she has no business getting pregnant, despite the warm and cuddly feelings that thoughts of a sweet baby inspire.

That's why a lot of schools ask the students to "adopt" Baby-Think-It-Over for a period and be responsible for the "baby" 24/7. The "babies" are pre-programmed to "report" if they've been abused or neglected (not fed or diapered, left to cry too long, etc.). Maybe someone should give one to your friend for a month.