[outoflalaland]

I am 46 my ex is 27:
We married 3yrs ago
Divorced in August last year (2009)
Dated three weeks after divorce till sept. 03 this year. (she broke up with me)
I was working on getting stable but I goy arrested for child support from a previous, I know what your going to say, but that ex was getting $3,000.00 per month one child. Judge orderd, I lost my job couldn't pay.
Anyway she breaks up with me 2 days later says she shouldn't have to pay for my past sins.
90 days later I get out I call her, she cries but tells me will never be together, we talked for an hour or so,
4 days laterr she calls back we talk laugh she vents, calls me a pedifile etc...
Now we get along like we never broke up its natural with us.
We agree to be friends,
2 days ago I tex her about 11pm at night and say: I screwed up, but I will love you forever, 12 hours later she contacts me and says she doesn't need love just food and shelter.
I responded I understand Michael.
That's it, I'm stuck, I really truly love this person, I can make it without her, I just don't want to.
Please advice me on whether I should contact her again its been almost 2days, I don't want to mack her, olay games I just want her and I want her smiling at any event.
Your friend in need and in Jesus Christ
By the way me and this woman really changed our lives together compared where we were originally.
Help!
Michael

[Devorameira]

She's young and probably wanting a husband and family of her own. She may be seeing that it would be difficult, if not impossible, for the two of you to ever have a family together when you are supposed to pay out such large child support payments.

It's not your fault, just your responsibility to your child that won't go away until your child is grown.

I'd like to say that she'll come around, but at this point I'm just not sure. I think you really need to back off and give her some extra space. If she doesn't come around within the next month, then you should move on.

[Fr_Chuck]

First of course the day you lost your income you needed to file for a modification to lower the amount you had to pay, then you would not be in jail over it. Child support is based on income, when it changes ( up or down) a modification can be done.

It appears she has other desires and needs that are more than love, and is not willing to put too much effort into this

[Jake2008]

Despite divorcing her, the two of you sound like you can't let go, emotionally or otherwise.

If it's over, it's over.

If it isn't over, and the two of you decide to work on the relationship and try again, then get into marriage counselling, and see what you can work through, and if it is possible to salvage something from the past together, that you can build a future on.

You say you were trying to 'get stable' and I take that to mean that you were trying to recover from the loss of your marriage, plus the legal action against you for non payment of child support from a prior relationship or marriage. Plus you lost your job. You didn't say you were working again, so I presume you are unemployed. I don't know how many children you have, but I presume that the pressure is on to help provide for them, financially and otherwise.

You implied that your now ex wife grew tired of being the one to make ends meet, and she felt like she was paying the price for you not being able to make your own ends meet, financially.

You have a lot on your plate. Maybe it is time to take care of business before you complicate things with an already complicated relationship that is formally over. Dating the same person you divorced is not healthy.

I appreciate how confusing things are from what you have said. Distance as has already been suggested is probably a good thing right now, so that you can find your own footing, and settle your own business, through court for starters as Chuck suggested, to come up with a plan to do what you need to do to help support your children.

Maybe it is just too much to add an ex to the mix right now, until you are financially stable, and back on your feet again.