[nat_k]

Me and my husband have been married for 2 years and I met him first time 3 years ago.. at that time we were living in the same city but soon after I had to relocate to another city... so basically we spoke a lot over the phone.. or should I say.. we "dated" over the phone... we use too see each other every month sometimes every 2 months and only for 2 max 3 days...
This kept on going for 1 year until we decided to get married... a very simple court marriage.. from the day I got married I started to realize that I didn't actually really know him... whatever I though was completely different.. perhaps because we really never spent enough time together... I started to realize we have different choices, tastes, mentalities.. etc...
I am a very active and social person and mu husband is just the opposite of me... initially I tried a lot to get my husband to go out.. maybe a restaurant maybe a cinema.. a weekend.. tennis.. bowling.. I don't know.. I remember once when I asked him to go and watch a movie in the cinemas he said.. why? Its online lets watch.. I told him that I really wanted to watch this particular one in the cinema.. he replied.. "you always want to go out.. didn't we went out to eat pizza last month???" I was shocked... this is what he categorizes as going out... anyway.. I started to go out with some friends one in a while because I couldn't just stop living my life because of him.. even that he didn't like.. always taunting me... moaning... for every single thing.. so I stop telling him stuff to avoid this paranoia.. he got to the point that if I am not at home he would call me over and over.. and if I don't pick or miss the first call he would just keep calling and calling... yesterday unfortunately I got a parking ticket for staying over the time allowed at mc donalds.. he saw this ticket and went crazy.. why? How? When? Who with... we had argument... he called me names and everything... I understand that he might got upset for few things that I did without telling him.. but I did that because as I said.. I couldn't take anymore of his lectures about everything... I am fed up... but I also love him... but I also feel I don't have a future in this relation... I don't know what to do...

[redhed35]

Have you talked about how your feeling and where your both at in the marriage?

Perhaps a mediator at this stage may help you both get back on track?

There is a compromise here,but you both have to realise there's a problem ,not just you.

Its healthy to have separate interests,but also to find something that you both enjoy doing together.

[answerme_tender]

This just an idea but how about sending him an email and explain everything you feel is going GREAT with the marriage and then go over then not so great about the marriage. Explain that reason you are emailing him is because this was the first type of communicaton form that you felt a connection with him and you want to feel that connection AGAIN. Tell him how much you miss the man that you first felt a tremendous friendship with, then it went beyond a friendship to a love so deep that you thought nothing could come between it. Explain how you realize that both of you have different expectations when it comes to doing things outside of the home, but even if interest are different the love and respect should be strong enough to allow the other person to go out or to stay in whatever the choice is. However that perhaps he could choose to go out with you at least twice a month to an event, like movie, get together with friends, etc. In return you will stay at home for movie night, fixing special dinner togther, etc.

See what he has to say. Also see if he would be open to counseling. He may need a person he can also talk to. Good luck