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conflicted3181 · Dec 5, 2010, 06:03 AM

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2yrs. For about the first year our sex life was great, we were fun and adventurous. Then things started going down hill. It went from us having sex every day to every other day, to twice a week, to once a week, and now its gotten to the point that I'm lucky if we have sex once a month. On the rare occasion that we do have sex it's because I initiate it and then it is ho-hum at best. I have tried spicing things up with trips to the adult store and sexy outfits and nothing seems to change. I know that he still has a sex drive because he masturbates on a very regular basis. Its really starting to affect me, I have tried talking to him about it but it always ends in a argument. I love him but I need to feel desired and wanted too.

DoulaLC · Dec 5, 2010, 07:00 AM

What does he actually say when you try to talk about it and express how you are feeling? What causes it to end up in an argument? Have there been any other changes? How is his health? Job stress or changes? How is your relationship otherwise?

conflicted3181 · Dec 5, 2010, 04:37 PM

His heath is fine and there haven't been any other changes to his or our lives. I bring this up and he gets irritated because this is something that we do talk about every month and his anger makes me angry cause he is discounting how I feel.

ITstudent2006 · Dec 5, 2010, 05:26 PM

Not only is this an issue about sexual relations with your b/f but it is also about issues with communication.

Couples in a relationship who feel that they are intimate enough, love each other enough, and are mature enough to have sex, must be mature enough to communicate about sex and the things entailed within.

A relationship isn't always about you. On the flip side it isn't always about him. You want sex more and he does not. A happy median must be met. I notice that you say that when you guys do communicate about this matter, it usually ends in argument. Can I ask what he says about it?

Bringing this up every month and not getting no where; I'm sure is frustrating, but tells me that the proper measures aren't being taken. Now, I am not siding with you believing that you need/want more sex but I feel there is a communication issue here and that is what I am interested in helping you fix.

If you fix the sex issue too, then hey it was a bonus!

I would just like to know what he says when this is brought up. How does it usually go?