[crissyn23]

Ok so I'm just seeking advice.. here is my story... I got pregnant from a guy that I had been friends with for a while and when we found I was pregnant he was a little uneasy at first but then accepted it.. he went on and on about how much he was excited to find out that we were having a boy which would be his first son.. well at least that's what I thought. A couple months into my pregnancy I'm contacted by a girl whom he had dated previously and was told she was pregnant and was 110% sure it was his.. I was furious and eventually that tore our relationship apart.. although he denied the child being his, I had this gut feeling that it was. Anyway the files childsupport and a paternity test is done.. of course the child was his.. ok on to me.. my son was born 3 months later and to my surprise he didn't even show up and he refused to help me with supporting my son.. I eventually filed childsupport which when it came down to going to court it became the worst day I could ever have.. he not once ever denied my son being his until that day.. shockingly he asked for a paternity test.. my heart sunk into my stomach.. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.. like are you serious? U were there through most of my pregnancy and claimed to your fam, my fam and our friends that he was your child why all of sudden are you denying him? Well of course he didn't answer me.. so I'm in the process of waiting for my sons results to come back.. anyway I get a call from his mother the next day asking if she could see my son.. I'm wondering should I allow her to? I'm really having second thoughts about it.. I mean I've asked her after my son was born if she would like to see him and she never came around.. this would be her first time meeting him.. with everything that's going on I kind of feel that right now isn't the right time for it.. what should I do?

[DoulaLC]

If you aren't comfortable with the idea, then don't do it. Let her know that you would prefer to wait until everything is sorted out first. Plain and simple... no further explanation is necessary.

[crissyn23]

Thank you.. I appreciate the advice :)

[bestbessie]

Once it is sorted though, do get in contact with her. She may be very helpful to you and once it is sorted, it sounds like it's going to be the case that she is also a grandmother. I personally think that grandparents get a bit lost in all of these complicated paternity/custody issues. Just make sure you are clear about what the boundaries are, don't either of you end up adding just another layer of complex relationships to this.

I do have to say really generally, why the hell don't people use birth control? Why didn't your guy put on a condom? I bet he's now feeling overwhelmed by two babies, two mothers, two lots of child support. This was SOO preventable.

[jenniepepsi]

I'm curious why you are outraged that he asked you to do a paternity test. Weren't you happy that they did a paternity test on the other girl?