[PricedTundra]

I met my girlfriend a month ago, but recently she told me she wants a "break", because we don't see each other very often. It's hard, because she's in basketball and debate. But she told me she wants to get back together with me, because I've been the best boyfriend she's ever had. She told me we need to get to know each other better before we can "love" each other.

Is it over? Should I just get the balls and move on?
By the way, Age 16, First Girlfriend.

[ironhide262]

I don't understand why she wants a break and then want the both of you to get to know each other better. Dating is where you get to know each other better. You will come to learn that girls speak in strange tounges.

Usually break= breakup. It`s just a way to let you down easy. So, just let her go and give her the space she obviously needs right now until she shows interest in truly getting back together again... if that ever happens and if you want to get back together with her again.

You have only been going out for about a month so you will be fine. Yes, ``grab your balls`` ( as you so colourfully put it) and explore other dating opportunities.

[kp2171]

I can respect when a person says "i just dont have time for a relationship right now"... it can absolutely be true.

But I take exception to her wanting, at least by your description, you to wait around for her because of some potential time in the future when shell have time for you.

Doesn't mean she's mean... again... best case scenario is that this girl is level headed and has her sh!t straight and takes care of her first... which is a mature thing to do... and she knows you are all that and a bag of chips and shed really like to spend time on you when she has it to spend...

... but... my experience time and again is rarely best case scenario.

You have been together short term. The front side of relationships can sometimes be intense and happen without our planning it. She gets some wiggle room. You have more than enough reason to bail.

If it were me, id tell her I'm interested, but I don't have a pause button. That isn't a threat. Its just the truth. She's being healthy and good to herself by focusing on her interests. Dear lord... that's a Good Thing, right? Needy and clingy, she isn't.

But... she also doesn't get to claim "dibs" on you...

Ultimately, its up to you to decide.

One of my greatest relationships... laughing together all the time, mind blowing sex, and all around effortless being together... well, it happened a few months after I approached her. She declined at the time, not for lack of interest, but because of personal conflicts (not a boyfriend conflict btw). When she was ready for me, I happened to be available. Didn't wait for her, it just worked out that way. I moved on. Was doing great. And she came back.

Your girl might never come back. Or might. We don't know. You don't know. She might not know.

Best case scenario rarely happens. Id say kindly tell her you like her, but you won't wait for her. If at some point she is ready for you, tell her to chase you like she means it. And then walk. If you aren't worth the effort, it isn't right. And don't wait for her... if someone compelling comes your way and you are interested, take that chance.

[kp2171]

And don't, whatever you do, become her girlfriend.

The guy that is always there for her, no matter her intent toward you.

Being a butler or a girlfriend to a woman rarely has long term effects that really benefit you.

You don't have to be mean... but your role as a guy and potential boyfriend is to think of yourself and not her. Too many guys think that being there every moment of the day for a woman is the way to prove your love.

Nope. That proves you are available every moment of the day cheaply.

My interest costs something. I want to be chased back some. I'm glad to do the heavy lifting, but a little quid pro quo helps. If you decide to move on, but to still secretly entertain your interest in her... just be wary of giving out too much.

You don't want to be her shoulder. You don't want to be her girlfriend. You want her to be your girlfriend and you want to be good to yourself first.

After all, isn't that what she's wanting for herself? To tend to her needs and to also engage you as she can, when she can?

Use her model, just aimed in the other direction.

[talaniman]

Get the balls and move on. Whatever her feelings, she doesn't have time, and won't make the time for you, and there are many females where you are, that will.

Don't let your feelings, and inexperience make you stop enjoying other options and opportunities for fun with a better partner. Her loss!