[ClaraBelle]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years, in the beginning sex was great, every night even. Now he is never interested, this has been going on for about 6 months. When I ask him why he tells me he's getting "old" and just isn't in the mood. Meanwhile he holds me and touches me all the time and as soon as I'm wriled up "its not a good time" or he's "not in the mood"... he is 12 years older than me and says he's spent his whole life sleeping with women and is tired of it, he says its more romantic to just hold me close. Wev tried pills from gnc, toys, and porn and still nothing. I feel terrible for "pressuring" him but I miss it... I've caught him watching porn a few times and he becomes defensive and tells me I'm only making it worse... what do I do? Is this my fault? Am I approaching him all wrong? Help...

[Rabbit91]

You got to get the spark back in the relationship,

I say just the two of you go out camping, or to the movies (somewhere that you guys can enjoy the moment of being together).

Also have you tried sexy outfits?

Rabbit-

[talaniman]

How old are you two?? Is sex the only problem??

[Synnen]

If there's no sex in the bedroom, and porn/masturbation is done in secret, then there's a problem.

Sounds like HIS problem to me.

I'm kind of a b!tch, personally---but the ultimatum would be "well, even if you are NOT in the mood, I am. Put out, or at least get ME off. Or the next time I catch you with porn, I'm cancelling the internet, and throwing the DVD player/VCR out the window".

[ClaraBelle]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years, in the beginning sex was great, every night even. Now he is never interested, this has been going on for about 6 months. When I ask him why he tells me he's getting "old" and just isnt in the mood. meanwhile he holds me and touches me all the time and as soon as im wriled up "its not a good time" or hes "not in the mood" ... he is 12 years older than me and says hes spent his whole life sleeping with women and is tired of it, he says its more romantic to just hold me close. wev tried pills from gnc, toys, and porn and still nothing. I feel terrible for "pressuring" him but i miss it... ive caught him watching porn a few times and he becomes defensive and tells me im only making it worse... what do I do? is this my fault? am i approaching him all wrong? help...

We go out as much as we can, we have two 6yr olds... I am 21 and he is 33... Ive tried sexy outfits and he has turned me down- Its such a terrible feeling Im afaid to try again, he has no idea what he's doing to my confidence! Sex is really the main problem for me, not so much him, he owns 2 busnesses and I work nights- but come the weekend he wants to relax when I want to make love...

[Choux]

HI Girlfriend,

You question is a perfect example of what I was talking about yesterday. There is a downside to having a wild sex life early in life and not giving it up somewhat quickly.

I think your partner's sexual impulse is *totally disconnected* from his loving and connecting feelings. Some people don't understand that sex is the human being's highest loving and connection feeling an individual can have... the ultimate bliss, also brings about orgasmic bliss at the highest levels of sexuality.

Just being a f**ker loses its pleasuring power over time, but getting back the tender feelings associated with sex... not so easy, if possible at all. :(

This may not be the man for you if he is burned out sexually. He may be because he will not discuss sex with you without sounding manipulative and defensive. He seems like a guy that wants to be rescued. I wonder if he would go to a sex therapist and tell the truth?


For sexuality wonks, *my opinion* about sexual bliss and monotheism appears below. :)

(Why do you think monotheistic religions(Islam Christianity) attack human sexuality so viciously? It is because of the potential power of human union in bliss. They want to disconnect men from women from each other and substitute an imaginary "God" as the primary relationship.

[kristy262]

It is nice to see that I'm not the only one having this same problem. Not that it's a good thing It really SUCKS! I feel unwanted to the point I cry myself to sleep. If you get any good answers please forward them to me! Thanks

[zade1]

We go out as much as we can, we have two 6yr olds... I am 21 and he is 33... Ive tried sexy outfits and he has turned me down- Its such a terrible feeling Im afaid to try again, he has no idea what hes doing to my confidence! Sex is really the main problem for me, not so much him, he owns 2 busnesses and i work nights- but come the weekend he wants to relax when i want to make love.....

Everything you have said so far is the same for me, why do men do this ?
Have you found anything usfull out yet?

It is nice to see that I'm not the only one having this same problem. Not that it's a good thing It really SUCKS! I feel unwanted to the point I cry myself to sleep. If you get any good answers please forward them to me! Thanks

And to me if you could I have a similar problem thanks

[Synnen]

This thread is from 2008. I sincerely doubt the OP is going to come back to answer your questions.

If you have a question of your own, please start your own thread.

This thread is CLOSED