[JRoNeedshelp]

He has been staying with me in my apartment.. we've only been seeing each other for 4-5 months.he is a wonderful guy n we were working on love then I got pregnant when I never thought I could.my doctor told me 5years ago my tubes were clogged n I couldn't conceive.now all the sudden they unclogged themselves.. I feel very lucky to be pregnant.. but I don't think he's the right guy... before him I was in a 10year long relationship.we tried to have babies but it just never happened.he did som stupid stuff n wound up in prison. I couldn't wait so I didn't n started seeing my soon to b babies father.. I'm still in love with my ex of ten years which I believe is stopping me from loving anyone else.I'm so confused.an my hormones are going nuts I keep treating my new guy very bad.I'm not trying to,its just happening.. I need advice.I'm so lost n confused.

[Alty]

What kind of advice do you want?

If you don't love him and don't want to be with him, then don't be. He'll have rights to the child when it's born, and he'll have to pay child support. It won't be easy, but a lot of people do this nowadays. In fact, the family with 2 parents seems to be a thing of the past.

I wouldn't go back to the ex, not unless he's been rehabilitated in prison.

You'll be a single mom, and that's a lot of weight to carry, but if you don't want to be in a relationship with the babies father, nothing is forcing you to.

Good luck.

[JRoNeedshelp]

I'm not sure... just advice.any.no matter how much he tries to make me happy.he can't.he is young and his parents gav him everything.let him quit school at 7th grade because it was to hard.. they never pushed him to his full potential and that really bugs me.. he is so soft and lives in this imaginary world that is perfect and just because I'm pregnant wants me to be able to say that I want to spend the rest of my life with him when its only been 5 months.. the other guy has been through rehabilitation an has lost his baby sister and me while he was away in prison and I know him like the back of my hand and know there has been a change for the better in him. But his heart will brake when he finds out I'm pregnant.n doesn't com home until July.my baby will be one month old by then.I'm still very close with his mother and her and I both feel its best he doesn't find out yet.but I'm not sure.I know hell never denie a child from the woman he loves... but I'm not a 100% but I think your right and the best thing is for me is just to be a single mom.. I'm selfish and don't even feel like my baby's dad is fit to even have my baby on the weekends.. his mother will be the one to take care of him/her.n I hate that idea because she pops so many pain pills,smokes and dropped my baby dad when he was little.which is a part of the reason why they hand him everything and let him quit school... I'm messed up about this and feel terrible to bring a child and this.

[Alty]

Sadly the deed is done. No matter what you can't change who the father of this child is, and he does have rights, like it or not. The only way you could deny him access is if you can prove that he's not fit to care for the child while it's in his care. That can take years, providing you have proof.

This is a huge mess, and it's just beginning. You not only have your life to consider, but that of the baby as well. You will be linked to the father for the rest of your life through this child. You don't have to marry him, you don't have to love him, but you will forever have him in your life through your child. To deny him the rights he has as a father is not the way to go about this. You chose to lay down with him, and now you will have to deal with the consequences. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but the truth often does.

The question is, do you want this child? You say that it's a blessing, and every child is, but have you considered the future? Can you handle all the issues that will come with having this child? Can you afford to care for this child on your own, because it may come to that. You don't want the father, but have you considered that the man you want won't want this child?

There are many issues to consider here. You can no longer just think about yourself and what you want, you have to think about this unborn baby and what's best for him or her.

Have you considered counseling? There are many great resources out there for unwed mothers, and women going though similar issues as you're going through. Look into counseling, group therapy, just so that you're prepared to deal with everything after the child is born.

That's the best advice I can offer. We're here if you need a shoulder, and we're here if you need help finding resources to help you with all of this. I do with you the best, and I hope you keep us posted, let us know how you're doing and how you're dealing with all of this. For now, stay healthy, take your prenatal vitamins, try not to be too stressed, but be proactive about your future, about the things you will have to decide, and about the things you'll have to deal with. Don't push those issues aside, but deal with them the best way you can. The first step would be to talk to the father of this child, tell him how you feel, and then plan for how you'll deal with the rest of your pregnancy alone.