Check out some similar questions!

jen2003g · Nov 26, 2010, 09:19 PM

I have a 13 year old sister who has been living with her mother and they have been fighting so much that the mother has been physically assaulting her. The times before this even had resulted in pushes, slaps, head locks, etc. This time was different, her mother punched her in the mouth resulting in a busted lip. Then she slapped her several times in the mouth after that. I got her out of the home and safe. There is a police report headed to the prosecutor now and CPS took a statement and took pictures of the injury. Her mother plans to come get her in a few days and I can't file till Monday for emergency custody! Is there anything I can do to keep her from going back? She becomes physically ill and has panick attacks every time the topic comes up to return home!

cdad · Nov 26, 2010, 09:22 PM

What has CPS said about the situation since you have brought it to their attention?

ScottGem · Nov 27, 2010, 07:41 AM

You do not have to let your mother in your home. If she comes, use a chain on the door and do not let her in. If she comes back with the police, show them the police report. Tell them CPS has been involved and you will be filing for emergency custody on Monday.

The police are unlikely to force the issue as long as there is a police report of DV.

jen2003g · Nov 27, 2010, 11:23 PM

I called the police and they said that since she has custody I have to let her go tomorrow. Then file Monday for emergency custody. CPS hasn't contacted me yet, so I am worried about what will happen. My little sister said she won't go with her!

jen2003g · Nov 27, 2010, 11:26 PM

They took her statement and said she needs to stay with me through the weekend and file Monday, but they didn't say much. Said it was confidential, still no word! Her mom said she has court next week and CPS is calling her next week.

ScottGem · Nov 28, 2010, 07:03 AM

First, please don't use the Comments feature for followups, use the Answer options instead.

Why did you call the police? I stand by my answer. You do NOT have to let the mother in your home. I am 100% sure of that! I am about 90% sure that the police will not force the issue. The police don't always know the law. However, by calling the police ahead of time you may have alerted them and made it more likely they would intervene.

But I still say stand by your guns and refuse to turn her over. Tell the police that if they force her to go with the mother and anything happens to your sister, you will hold them responsible. You have only 24 hours before you can go to court.

jen2003g · Nov 28, 2010, 09:13 PM

I definitely would have done that, but I am a foster parent and have children currently placed with me and I can't risk there placement with me either. She left my home and I then ran away as soon as she got back. She called the CPS lady and told her where she was and I spoke to her also. An officer picked her up and I told my sister to tell them everything she know's that she can change things by hiding the truth. She told the officer and he didn't give her any peace of mind at all. When I talked to the investigator for CPS she made it seem like she didn't plan to make a case and any services they offer are voluntary! Tell me how a parent could punch their child in the mouth and bust the lip open and then smack her several times in the mouth after that and it not be C.H.I.N.S (Child in need of services). If she had done that to someone else's child or to an adult she would be locked up right now, but I guess you can beat your teenager and get away with it! So, I am filing the emergency custody paperwork, but if CPS and the police don't see it as a big deal then how would a judge favor me? Guess they are waiting for a broken jaw next time!

ScottGem · Nov 29, 2010, 04:40 AM

I'm sorry, but your last post raises some flags with me. There are mixed tense and pronouns that make me wonder if you are the older or younger sister.

You "definetly would have done" WHAT?

"She left my home and I then ran away as soon as she got back." Who is she? Why did YOU run away? From what?

Where did your sister go? If she went to a hospital and reported what happened, CPS should have placed her in an emergency shelter or with foster parents until this could be sorted out.

jen2003g · Nov 29, 2010, 09:31 PM

This was a response to the previous post and yes I am the older sister. You obviously don't know what you are talking about. The police told her mom that he didn't blame her for punching her in the mouth because "teens these days are out of control!" I was freaked out about what was going on so if it wasn't proper grammar, well excuse me for my errors. Maybe you should respond to questions that you know something about and quit trying to piss off and cause more stress for people who are asking for help! Try not to be a smart *** bored person looking to critique someone's grammar!

J_9 · Nov 29, 2010, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by jen2003g

This was a response to the previous post and yes i am the older sister. You obviously don't know what you are talking about. The police told her mom that he didn't blame her for punching her in the mouth because "teens these days are out of control!" I was freaked out about what was going on so if it wasn't proper grammar, well excuse me for my errors. Maybe you should respond to questions that you know something about and quit trying to piss off and cause more stress for people who are asking for help! Try not to be a smart *** bored person looking to critique someones grammar!

I understand that you are upset about the situation you and your sister are in. However, I have to agree with Scott that your previous post was confusing. He wasn't critiquing your grammar per se.

Wondergirl · Nov 29, 2010, 09:40 PM

Originally Posted by jen2003g

Try not to be a smart *** bored person looking to critique someones grammar!

Scott's correct in his concern about your post. There are too many "she"s in what you wrote and not enough explanation as to which "she" you are referring to each time. I got lost somewhere around the third sentence.

There are a number of professionals on this site who are glad to help you, but we need to clearly understand the situation.

jen2003g · Nov 29, 2010, 09:44 PM

I'm not sure you read the same post as I did? He was obviously questioning my integrity and my assuming I was lying about the information. I wish my sister wasn't in this situation, but I don't need that kind of criticism, and yes it was criticism! Might need to read his response again and maybe you would see why it upset me!

I'm sorry, but your last post raises some flags with me. There are mixed tense and pronouns that make me wonder if you are the older or younger sister.

You "definetly would have done" WHAT?

"She left my home and I then ran away as soon as she got back." Who is she? Why did YOU run away? From what?

Where did your sister go? If she went to a hospital and reported what happened, CPS should have placed her in an emergency shelter or with foster parents until this could be sorted out.
I am a foster parent and they basically let her get away with it and my sister now has lost all faith that things will ever change for her!!

J_9 · Nov 29, 2010, 09:46 PM

Originally Posted by jen2003g

I definetly would have done that, but I am a foster parent and have children currently placed with me and I can't risk there placement with me either. She left my home and I then ran away as soon as she got back. She called the CPS lady and told her where she was and I spoke to her also. An officer picked her up and I told my sister to tell them everything she know's that she can change things by hiding the truth. She told the officer and he didn't give her any peace of mind at all. When I talked to the investigator for CPS she made it seem like she didn't plan to make a case and any services they offer are voluntary! Tell me how a parent could punch their child in the mouth and bust the lip open and then smack her several times in the mouth after that and it not be C.H.I.N.S (Child in need of services). If she had done that to someone elses child or to an adult she would be locked up right now, but I guess you can beat your teenager and get away with it! So, I am filing the emergency custody paperwork, but if CPS and the police don't see it as a big deal then how would a judge favor me? Guess they are waiting for a broken jaw next time!

This is the post that we all have read. I have bolded only one of the confusing portions.

Wondergirl · Nov 29, 2010, 10:00 PM

Originally Posted by jen2003g

I'm not sure you read the same post as I did? He was obviously questioning my integrity and my assuming I was lying about the information. I wish my sister wasn't in this situation, but I don't need that kind of critisism, and yes it was critisism! Might need to read his response again and maybe you would see why it upset me!

I've read your posts and his more than twice. Yes, it's sometimes unclear as to who you are in all this. Please understand our predicament. We do our best to wade through very legitimate and upset posts from people with real problems as well as posts by users who spam and con and manipulate. We give of our time and expertise and experience freely to help, so we insist on clarity and honesty in order to do our best for you and others like you who truly want our help.

ScottGem · Nov 30, 2010, 04:55 AM

Yes I was questioning your integrity to some extent and I do not apologize for it. I was not questioning your grammar except to the extent that it rendered what you were saying confusing and hard to understand. You need to understand that we VOLUNTEER our time and expertise here. At times we have been played upon by people posting situations that were hoaxes. I stand by the quality and accuracy of the advice I've given here. Even though I had concerns about this thread I still continued to try and help.

But I have to point out that your reaction was very defensive. Instead of trying to clarify what you were saying in that past, you try to attack me with unsubstantiated claims about my knowledge.

It is now Tuesday morning. What happened in court yesterday? Did your mom ever show up?

As to the cop saying what you claim he said, did you get a name or badge number? That was totally unprofessional and he should be reported!

jen2003g · Nov 30, 2010, 10:42 PM

Well, maybe next time just asking to repost what I meant by the message because it was confusing works better than automaticallly assuming I am not telling the truth. Yes, my reaction was not that of a kind manner. I have been going through a lot and feel helpless in this situation and was hoping for kindness not judgement. I do appreciate the advice, but I was told that I would be breaking the law if I kept her past Sunday. CPS told me that this case was confidential and with out my sisters mom signing a waiver she could not discuss the case with me only offer separate advice to me. I asked about the emergency custody and she said she was not sure I had enough to win. This is the 2nd CPS investigation in the last 6 months! Also, we do not have the same mother, but the same father. I was blessed to have a very good mother and our father is, lets just say, nothing to be proud of to say the least! Her mother told me what the officer said so it would be hear say. As for court, she told me she was confused and didn't realize it was CPS that was contacting her next week not the prosecutor, that she is worried about jail time. So, to make a long story short, my 13 year old sister was assaulted by her mother with injury and speaks out finally about all the abuse and I am the only one trying to do something about it. So, my sister is now being charged as a runaway and with possession of tobacco for a cigarette butt they found in the bag she was using, even though she explained she just grabbed her brothers back out of urgency to get out of the house and her brother told them it was him and he even had a tag on it with his name. So she ends up paying for trying to speak out about her abuse and make it stop! Loving the justice system and CPS in their area is crappy! I have never had this much trouble in the 3 years as a foster mother in our county! But, I don't get the kids till they are already removed.

jen2003g · Nov 30, 2010, 10:45 PM

So, feeling like I have to wait till something more serious happens before I can help her have a better life!

AK lawyer · Dec 1, 2010, 04:53 AM

Originally Posted by jen2003g

... I asked about the emergency custody and she [the social worker?] said she was not sure I had enough to win.

... As for court, she [your half sister?] told me she was confused and didn't realize it was CPS that was contacting her next week not the prosecutor, that she is worried about jail time. ...

Again, it's confusing who "she" is each time you use the word.

Did you or didn't you file a petition for emergency custody on Monday?

ScottGem · Dec 1, 2010, 04:58 AM

First, I didn't automatically assume anything. I explained to you that the post raised flags and explained why and I did ask for clarification. If you had read my post looking at it from what I was seeing, you might have not gotten so defensive.

Second, please try and give us the full story here, not bits and pieces that don't fit together. You started telling us your sister was with you, that you got her out of her mother's house and you were going to file for emergency custody on Monday. Now you are telling us she ran away, and was arrested as a runaway and also charged with possession of tobacco. So which is it?

I don't care WHO told you you would be breaking the law, I'm telling you that 1) you do not have to let her mother in YOUR house and 2) you will not be prosecuted for holding on to her until you can get to court. But that may be moot since it is now Wed.

As far as the charges are concerned, you don't seem to understand how the police have to work. They have to arrest someone if they have prime evidence of a law being broken. That doesn't mean they will prosecute. It has to wait until all the facts get played out. Its possible they arrested her to protect her, I don't know since you have been unclear on certain details.

So what is the situation now? Did the mother come to get her on Sunday? If so, I assume you turned her over since you didn't listen to what I told you. So where is your sister now? Did you go to court for emergency custody on Monday? If not, why not? If so, what happened? Don't get angry at me for pointing out inconsistencies in what you have been telling us. I'm trying to help but I can't if I don't know the facts. Correct those inconsistencies and give us the full story so we can help!

jen2003g · Dec 1, 2010, 07:53 PM

Things transpire over time and different things have come about different days.

Tuesday, 23rd Sister was assaulted in her home by her mother. Right after she sent me pictures showing the injury and my husband picked her up that evening. That same evening her mother called her in as a runaway. We called our counties police, they came and took a statement and pictures and called the neighboring counties police department and CPS to report the abuse. We were then instructed to take her to the next county to file a report to their police dept. Then was instructed to take her with me. They spoke to her mother that night and that is when she reported the officer said he doesn't blame her for punching her in the mouth, teens are out of control he would have done the same.

Wednesday, 24th CPS investigator contacted me in the am saying I needed to bring my sister in for an interview and to take pictures. She wouldn't not discuss the case with me due to confidentiality and told me to keep her till Sunday the 28th or until she told me different.

Saturday, I was told that keeping her was kidnapping and I could be charged and loose my foster placements and risk losing my other kids.
Sunday, her mom came and picked her up from my house and headed to the neighboring county and when they pulled up to their grandma's house she jumped out of the car and ran. They called her in as a runaway again. She went to a friends house and called me. I told her to call the CPS investigator and tell her everything she hadn't told her before and to tell her where she was so she wouldn't get in more trouble and they sent an officer after her. The officer to her to the police station. They searched her bag that was clearly not hers, an id tag had her brothers name on it. They found a cigarette butt in it. They charged her with runaway and possession of tobacco. They did a nicotine test and she was negative but she was still in trouble. They returned her home to her mother Sunday night.

It is Wednesday and not a word from anyone!