[nanisue]

I have 2 children, 32 and 31 years old. Their father ana dI divorced 28 years ago. He had been cheating on me and I received an almost daily beating. He recently passed away and I not sure that I should tell them the truth or just let if go. They bother blame me for not staying with him. I was in the military and traveled overseas a lot, so they stayed with him, he didn't beat them, but guess he told the kids that I didn't care about them because I would be there if I did. Anyone what should I do?

[Wondergirl]

Even though it might make you feel better to finally tell the truth, I would advise against it. Now it's your word against a dead man's, so the kids might really begin to hate you for trying to blacken their dear father's memory. If you ever find out the kids were hurt emotionally or physically by their father, then you might have the right opening to begin to tell your story of life with him years ago.

For now, I'd let it go.

[DoulaLC]

I agree with Wondergirl. It would serve no useful purpose, they are hurting from his passing, and would leave them with painful memories of the father they loved. Again, they may likely be even more upset with you.

If the divorce comes up at some point, and you feel the need to say something, maybe simply let them know that you had personal reasons between you and their father as to why you could not remain married to him.

[Enigma1999]

Honestly, I wouldn't tell your children. They are in their 30's now. I would just let it go.

Let them remember their Father in a good way.